


Fictitious Fate

by deviant_SnK_Kira



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Other, Reader-Insert, Shadow organization that rules you, just warning you, orders come from mysterious scout/thug, reader has a mouth...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deviant_SnK_Kira/pseuds/deviant_SnK_Kira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Expect minor edits to chapters 3 and 4 in next couple of days! Also will hopefully have a new chapter soon too] </p><p>Fate is set...but fiction can always be rewritten...<br/>When you find yourself thrown into the world of Attack on Titan you must do everything you can to rewrite the fate of the Survey Corps. But how many lives can you really save, if you are bound by the rules of shadow organization responsible for bringing you to your new world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Raiden's Story

**Author's Note:**

> Used to have this up under a different account that I no longer have, also posted on my DA account as fictionlives (formerly fantasymusings)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a short back story on the mystery man Raiden...  
> You don't have to read this for the main story to make sense, but I had a few people asking about him so I decided to write this.  
> (and the next chapter will be added soon!)

He was born to fight...he knew early in his childhood that he would join the Survey Corps to fight the titans. The titans called for him, dared him to come beyond the walls, and so he would. His parents hated the idea, but everyone knew how stubborn he was. The titans would not escape their deaths, for he had sworn to chase them down no matter what it took.

While life may be hard, and the soldiers died more and more often, this year, the great year of 835, sang to him. For this year, he could finally enlist in the military as a trainee in the 92nd Training Corps. 

 

**~Year: 840~**

When the 92nd corps finally graduated, Raiden had claimed the second rank and his sister actually managed to get fifth. They shocked everyone when both decided to join the Survey Corps. Within two years, people discovered the siblings made a perfect pair, when one moved the other reacted without hesitation. They protected their squad without fail; they even killed nine titans each within the first three hours—which doesn’t sound like much, but the rest only got about three at most. They saw themselves as invincible…until a variant showed up.

One moment Rachelle was slicing a titan’s nape, the next she was slammed into the ground as her wire was pulled. Then all he saw was darkness as someone hit him on the back of the head nearly knocking him out; he thought a titan had gotten him until he felt a needle in his neck and realized there was a voice speaking to him.

“You’ll be the perfect specimen for my newest serum…I wonder what it will do to you?”

He ignored the man’s manic laughter as he tried to force his mind and eyes into concentrating on his sister, “Rachelle…”

“Now, don’t worry about her…we’ve made sure she’s alive. We want her too after all. I just hope you two live up to our expectations, although living for a week would be an accomplishment in and of itself. What do you think, are you strong enough to live, even for a week, Raiden?” The man started chuckling as the drug took its toll on Raiden’s mind, pulling him further and further into oblivion. 

The blissful black world he floated in ended abruptly as his blue eyes snapped open and agony tore through his entire body. He was always surrounded by screams and the oppressive tightness of the straps holding him to the bed. He was lost in his own mind, broken only by the occasional mumbling as the scientists injected odd serums into his body. 

Fear engulfed him in those early days as he heard his younger sister crying out for him to save her. And above all, fury filled him as he watched as his sister was dragged out of the room, never to be seen again. It’s all he knew now…what his life had become; nothing but pain and rage. 

For weeks—maybe years—it was the same…screaming in agony, the feel of fire rushing through his veins, then moments of blissful peace cut short when the cycle began again. Slowly, but surely, his world was reduced to nothing but pain, rage, and the need to kill those that created this horrible nightmarish world.

**~Year: 843~**

Finally, they released the straps as a man entered his room—his personal hellish cage—and leaned against the wall beside the door. His black hair was pulled back into a knot at the base of his neck and he inspected his nails as he waited for the scientists to leave. 

The man stared at Raiden without a trace of emotion is his eyes, “starting tomorrow you will obey every order I give you. For now, your sister is safe, but if you decide to disobey, you may find your sister’s body the next morning. The choice is yours.”

He simply stared as he slowly stretched his muscles, glaring at the man standing in front of him. His fists clenched, nails nearly drawing blood, as the rage demanded retribution, and yet his body refused to obey as he thought about killing the man. Instead, he found himself listening impatiently, anxious for the chance to do something.

**~Year: 845~**

For the next two years, Raiden was trained as an assassin, an herbalist, and of course his skills from the Regiment were honed to perfection. His new boss--and source of rage--would occasionally give him orders to work within Sina’s underground to test his ability to follow orders. It was during these times he realized how much he enjoyed the work, though he never admitted it to anyone.

Despite still wanting to kill the people responsible for this new life, he couldn’t bring himself to act on that desire. Raiden knew it was an effect of the serum and torture, something he couldn’t break free from without help...but who would help someone like him? 

Eventually, the Society decided he was “obedient” enough to trust with his own small house within Wall Rose. He was kept relatively busy killing unwanted wealthy merchants or overly troublesome criminals, sometimes even being sent out beyond with the Scouts he had once been a part of. It was on such a day that he learned that he and his sister had been assumed dead shortly after their disappearance.

To the world he resided, he no longer existed and to the one that claimed him, he wanted no part of…

Whenever his mood turned dark he often found himself drunk amid the lowest of criminals as he rode out his bloodlust. If such a craving hit him beyond the walls, he often rode off on his own to hunt down the biggest titans or variants he could find. Among so many he was always alone, a ghost among the living; no one ever questioned his actions or gave him orders, except those bastards at the Society.

In a world overrun with the man-eating giants he had learned to fear none. He rejoiced in slaughtering the titans, but not for the sake of mankind. No, he enjoyed it because those scientists had changed him; they made him a monster among monsters. He needed to kill, to see the bright crimson spray of blood on his blades. Human or titan didn’t really matter to him…it was only death he craved, by any means.

He was drinking in a tavern near his house when a cloaked figure left a letter with him. Wall Maria had been breached and he was to stay as far from the titan presence as possible until further notice. _Fine with me…more time to drink._

**~Year: 848~**

Three years after the Wall’s fall, Raiden was finally ordered to do something besides “clear the trash of Sina”…and his first order was simple and very boring. Bring a girl to the Society that had appeared within Maria as she was another ideal specimen. 

He found the girl lying against a tree, apparently sleeping in the strangest clothing he had ever seen. Shrugging, he quickly injected a drug into her arm to keep her asleep as he carried her to those demon scientists. He was surprised to actually find himself feeling sorry for this poor girl as she would endure the same as he did all those years ago. Regardless of how he felt, he still brought her straight to the hands of the men that would most likely cause her death and simply walked away to find more “trash” in the underground.  
Raiden visited her often for the six months it took for here to gradually adjust to the serums they injected her with. She reminded him of his sister and over the next two years, she began training under the Society’s leaders under his close supervision. Surprisingly, he often argued with the scientists if they started pushing her too hard and got especially violent when he noticed that she started having prolonged moments of amnesia.

**~Year: 850~**  
He was sitting in a dark tavern again when a man joined him at the bar, sliding a letter to him silently before heading to a table across the room. He ignored the note for a while, enjoying the quiet, before finally opening it only to find that he had been ordered to find the girl and report where she was.

_Surely they wouldn’t have let her escape..._

Raiden tracked her down and discovered her passed out in an alley, again wearing that odd clothing from the first day he saw her, but now it was muddy and torn. Just as he was about to walk towards her, she woke up…her bright eyes startling him. He decided to follow her as she wandered around the town aimlessly, clearly confused about where she was, thinking perhaps it another fit of amnesia. 

Raiden clenched his fists, though, as a young blue-eyed blonde walked up to her and after exchanging a few words the blonde caught her as she passed out again. He recognized the Training Corps jacket before slipping back into the shadows of a nearby alley to wait for a better chance. Normally, her amnesia didn’t last too long, a few hours...maybe a day. Strangely, he had the distinct impression that something was different...there was a look in her eyes that hinted at being completely broken.

_What did they do to you this time? Perhaps I should have been keeping a better eye on you._ Raiden quickly wrote a letter to the Society about the girl’s whereabouts and decided to keep watch until they decided what to do next.

What he didn’t expect though, was their order to simply maintain his watch over her and await further orders. The Society had something planned, and they hinged their plans on her, that much was obvious. But what in the hell did they want?


	2. Taken and Chaos

You were just getting off the bus to visit a friend in downtown Seattle, the two of you had planned a Blue Exorcist marathon before having to pick out the cosplay and music for your new CMV. You’ve only ever had a small group of friends, all of which you had met at a convention, and the six of you had formed a very close-knit circle that spent almost all your time and money on cosplays and filming short fan films to post online. 

But today just wasn’t your day, as soon as you stepped off the bus your vision went black and you had this horrible sensation like you were falling from a cliff. Everything was silent as you stared into the blackness surrounding you.  
Suddenly you felt overwhelming fear as your breathing became ragged, but you still couldn’t see or feel anything. Maybe you were dreaming on the bus…but somehow you just knew that wasn’t the case.

Then you could remember nothing as your mind blanked out and your body slumped to the ground unconscious with a not-so-gentle thud.  
___________________________________________________________________________

You woke to the sound of laughter and loud voices arguing. Slowly you open your eyes to find yourself lying on the ground. The sun shines brightly above you in a beautiful clear blue sky.

Sitting up carefully you feel every muscle protest painfully. I feel like I just finished a triathlon. (And yes you knew exactly how you feel after running on since you had done one as a charity event that made you decide to stick with cash donations from that day on.)

You look down at your clothes; you’re covered in dirt and both your jeans and your favorite tank top are ripped with thorns and leaves stuck to them.

“What happened to me?” you think as you look around at the old-world style buildings. “And where the hell am I? Germany?”  
You stand up and stretch gingerly before leaving the ally and walking around the city aimlessly. Everyone stares at you-whether from your torn clothing or just how filthy you are, you neither know nor care.

As you’re walking you notice a huge wall not much further ahead-how you didn’t see it sooner escapes you. As you approach you realize that it must encircle the entire city. You look up, eyes narrowing in the bright light, but you swear you can just make out figures walking around the top of the wall. Glancing around you realize you can’t see signs of stairs or ladders anywhere. “How did they get up there?”

You continue walking near the wall lost in thought until you reach what is clearly a gate, but as you were about to move on you see the symbol on the brick-one you recognize immediately.

“Funny…that looks just like the symbol for Wall Rose…” you jerk around suddenly staring wild eyed at the city. “No way…it can’t…really be…but everything looks just like it does in the series. This is…Shingeki no Kyojin!”  
Your vision goes black again as your body slumps to the ground unconscious-much to the surprise of a trio of teenagers that had been walking toward you.

_________________________________TIME SKIP_____________________________

 

You jolt awake, sitting bolt upright, startling a woman in a white coat standing beside you. She smiles at you before stepping away and leaning past the curtain beside the bed. You hear whispering then the woman walks away and a young blonde boy steps up to you. 

His blue eyes looked at you worriedly before he smiled kindly, “How do you feel? The doctor said you passed out from shock.”

You didn’t remember much, but you swore this boy looked really familiar. “I’m fine…w-where am I?”

“You’re within Wall Rose. My friends and I brought you here…I’m Armin Arlert.” 

“I’m (f/n). Wait…did you just say Wall...Rose, A-A-Armin?”

Armin looked at you with concern as your face went white, “That’s right…a-are you okay?”

You stare at the boy a moment before whispering, “This is impossible,” You glanced at the boy as a slightly hysterical giggle slips passed your lips, “this can’t be real.” 

“Um…what can’t be real?”

You look at Armin closely; you had never really understood why everyone said he had such shampoo commercial worthy hair, but seeing him in person it finally made sense.

Armin stared questioningly at you, but before he could say anything you heard footsteps, “Oi, Armin, that girl awake yet? I brought her some bread.”

You glanced up to see a brunette boy walk in with a black-haired girl right beside him. Of course you knew who they were instantly; they were never that far from each other…the inseparable trio.

Eren smiled as he handed you a half-stale loaf of bread. You accepted gratefully as your stomach rumbled. Your eyes flicked to the silent Mikasa who was watching you with a vaguely bored expression.

“Thanks Er—uh,” Oh my god, I just almost his name! That would have been SO hard to explain.

“Oh! I’m Eren Yaeger and this is Mikasa Ackerman.”

Armin glanced at his friends, “Uh, we should let (f/n) eat…and if you feel up to it you could change and meet us outside. I’m sure you’d like to walk around some.”

You nodded as Mikasa ushered the two boys out of the room. You ate a few bites of the bread before you slowly stood up and found a change of clothes sitting on a chair beside the bed. You laughed as you realized what they had given you to wear…a simple white long sleeved button down blouse, a pair of white pants and knee high brown boots—you’d look like one of the cadets, but at least you didn’t have those infernal straps to worry about—which you were eternally grateful for.

You walked out of the infirmary with the last half of your bread in hand. Once you stepped into the light you found yourself in an open dirt courtyard with several simple wood buildings spread around and saw a group gathered ahead of you.

Looking around you couldn’t see Eren or Armin’s bright blonde hair. You didn’t think they would have forgotten you already so you leaned against the wall behind you assuming they were the ones the group had surrounded.

You recognized several of the barely audible voices; Jean and Reiner seemed to interrogating Eren about who you were and why he had carried you here. Then you had the distinct feeling someone was watching you before seeing a wild eyed girl come running at you along with—you thought it was Connie—yell “Hey, where you going?”

You tensed and flattened yourself against the wall, your eyes widening, as Sasha came flying at you; stopping less than an inch from your face she stared at the bread in your hand. 

You laughed as you lifted your hand, “here, you can have the rest.”

Her eyes lit up before grabbing the bread with a really goofy smile on her face. She looked like she was about to grab you too when a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders.

“Sasha! You’re gonna freak her out.” Mikasa pulled her away glancing at you sympathetically.

Just as everyone began heading your way, no doubt to start questioning you nonstop, an extremely loud, almost angry voice, yelled, “BREAK TIMES OVER CADETS! GET YOUr LAZY ASSES BACK TO WORK!” Shadis, so glad I don’t have to listen to him.

The cadets’ shoulders dropped in unison as they all sighed before walking off mumbling apologies to you.

_________________________Time Skip: Cadet Training in Session__________________________ 

Several hours had passed while you stood around trying to go unnoticed as you watched the cadets practice their hand-to-hand combat. You found yourself giggling as you watched Eren and Reiner walk up to Annie, knowing exactly how that was going to end.

You were still smiling as Armin invited you to sit with them at dinner. You enjoyed the company and watched in amusement as Eren and Jean faced off, which of course ended with Jean on his back via Eren’s previously experienced “Annie Technique”. Never had you had a more entertaining dinner in all your life.

That’s when your gaze fell on Marco and all you could see was him in the street...alone…dead. You knew exactly what would happen and found yourself getting angry about the fate awaiting so many of these cadets.

I know everything, how they all die…it’s all supposed to be fiction but I’m here right now. You thought of all the deaths that would plague these soon-to-be soldiers. Surely since you knew their future you could do something to change it…to save them.

I’m going to try…no, I’m going to DO it,, you thought as your fists clenched at your sides, your anger going unnoticed as the others laughed at Jean. I’ll save them. Marco, Petra, even stop Erwin from losing an arm…I’ll stop it all from happening. It’s all fiction and fiction can always be rewritten…right?

~A Few Weeks Later~

You had managed to stay at the training grounds up with the cadets as you recovered. Armin and Eren had come to visit daily, often with Mikasa in tow; Armin would talk to you every chance he had about what may be waiting in the world outside the walls—which you tried to remember to feign ignorance about.

Last week you had met a young girl who had been told about you from her brother, a fellow cadet, and she had convinced her father to give you a room at his inn. Charlotte was sixteen and had taken a liking to you almost immediately, even saying you were the big sister she never had.

You knew the cadets had finally graduated and had been assigned to work on the walls somewhere here in town. You had decided to walk around looking for them when Charlotte ran up saying she had heard where some of them were working and pointed you towards the gate while waving goodbye. As you headed for the wall you had the distinct feelings that you were forgetting something very important. Just before you could brush off the thought you remembered where you were…Trost District...and today is…

You ran for the wall hoping you were wrong, you had only recently recovered your strength and didn’t really feel like having to try to keep up with the cadets today. With luck against you, you neared the wall watching a figure run up to the crew working on the cannons. Once they reached the group you waited to see if it was Sasha with that damn stolen ham…then you could just make out the outstretched arm holding up a small bundle swinging from their hand. 

Yep…Sasha; which means that in a few minutes the Colossal Titan will show up. Your fists clenched as you realized you could do nothing about it.

No one would believe you, even if you tried to think of a rational explanation—which you couldn’t. And while you knew the truth about the titans responsible you absolutely could not kill them to stop what was to come… 

Wait, why not? If they were gone then none of this would happen…but he said I couldn’t kill…who is he? I can’t remember…but I know…something…Well that’s just annoying, my memories are all blank, but I know there was a voice…why can’t I remember?

As you paused in the street trying to force the memory to surface the world lit up in yellow and the people froze in fear. You did the only thing you could think of…you stepped into the shadows of the house beside you to wait for the citizens to flee before trying to reach Eren.

Screams filled the air a moment later as the people on the streets realized what was happening, everyone ran past you as titans began coming in through the hole in the wall. As the crowd began to thin out you stepped into the street and took a step towards the walls before seeing that the cadets had already left. Turning back you ran along with everyone else, hoping to see your friends, but after several minutes you gave up, unable to find any signs of them. The only thing you knew for sure was that the steady vibrations of titan footsteps were a constant reminder of the death and destruction behind you.

“(f/n)!” You glance around to see Charlotte standing wide-eyed in the street in front of her father’s inn. 

“What are you doing? Get out of here!” You scream at the girl as she simply continued to stare in horror behind you. You stumbled as you missed a step, your foot seeming to have missed the ground as a chill ran down your spine.

Looking over your shoulder you see a titan crouched behind you, its large brown eyes and bloody smile filling your vision. The monster just sat there staring at you as its hand reached over your head.

You hear a strangled scream as the arm begins to pull back, breath catching in your throat as you realize the titan had grabbed something behind you. Frozen in place breathing heavily you hear the zip of wire beside you then you’re in the air, an arm at your waist.  
Glancing at the person holding you, you see a blonde man with the red roses of the Garrison on his jacket. He sets you down on the roof as he quickly looks you over for wounds; you hear him asking you something, but all you understand is the titan had grabbed a young red haired girl in a pink dress, a dress you had helped her pick out. 

The soldier grabbed you again as he took you to the evacuation site, but your vision was blurry as tears fell down your cheeks. You had seen the monster lift up the unconscious body and swallow Charlotte whole, while its brown eyes had continued to stare at you.  
A few minutes later you found yourself safely out of Trost District. Your eyes hurt, but the tears had finally stopped as anger—and a good bit of confusion—overwhelmed your grief.

By now Eren’s been swallowed…You asked a passing soldier about the supply HQ, he almost ignored you but answered that it was overrun with titans before walking off. Not much longer…Eren should go titan soon.

You flinched as a loud roar ripped through the air. You looked toward the gate as the last of the civilians pushed their way through. People looked at you oddly as you found your feet carrying you toward the gate...back into Trost. A soldier tries to stop you, but you step out of his reach and begin running. You pass the man that had carried you here—now recognizing him as Hannes—as you run through the streets.

Several of the cadets and full-fledged soldiers had already died as Hannes towed you through the city, but there was still time for the others. Soldiers watched in surprise as you ran by them with every titan you pass stopping to stare at you.  
Soon you have a group of four soldiers following you; they had noticed what was happening and decided to use it to their advantage as they killed every titan you pass as they simply stand there. One of the soldiers, a brunette girl, dropped down beside you.  
Before she could say anything you answered the unspoken (and obvious) question, “I don’t know why they’re doing that…the titans. The supply HQ is overrun and there are still soldiers alive who need to refill their gas canisters to make it out of here and I’m heading that way, with or without you.”

She looked at you a moment before nodding as she rejoined the group and continued following you, slaughtering the filthy beasts as you ran. How you wished you had trained with the cadets in 3DM gear.


	3. Destruction and Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have begun to learn of your new ability...but will you be able to use it to save the cadets?
> 
>  
> 
> (not a helpful summary...but oh well...^^ )

You’d been running for a while now, your heart pounding as you tried to keep your breaths even, while your companions sliced through the countless titans. One of them had pulled ahead to see how many more targets were in the area before he returned grim-faced warning of a group of five approaching. 

The brunette from earlier swung down to you and pulled you to a roof, then turned away calling over her shoulder, “we’ll take care of these before moving on.”

They waited on the rooftop with you for the titans to get close enough to sense you. Within seconds three of them were dead, but as the last two began to fall one of the men was suddenly swallowed by a new arrival. You watched in shock as two more climbed over the roofs, a third running your way. 

Twenty minutes later you heard, distantly, several people land beside you. You heard muffled voices questioning you as you stared at the road below. Blood splattered the road, but not a corpse remained of your former companions. 

Someone leaned down beside you with a hand on your shoulder. You turn to see Marco talking to you, but you just point down to the blood covered cloak hanging from the edge of the broken house across the street as it waved in the wind.

“Looking for you guys…but, variants…” you mumbled as Marco leaned closer to try to hear you.

“(f/n)?”

“The supply HQ…” you’re cut off as another joins your group. You know who it is even before she speaks, but Mikasa’s words still make you flinch.

“Where is Eren? Armin?” Mikasa asks, glancing around at the other cadets.

Fighting to speak past his tears you can barely hear him answer, “Squad 34…Mina…Thomas…Eren Yeager…they put up a heroic fight…” you hear the others mutter while Armin goes on, “I’m sorry Mikasa.”

Your fists clench at the sound of Armin’s voice, angry that you had let Hannes carry you away. Pushing yourself up you walk over to Mikasa and Armin, whose blue eyes widen at the sight of you.

“(f-f/n)!”

You smile sadly at the blonde boy, “I’m sorry, about your squad…but you need to get to the supply HQ.”

“Are you crazy? It’s crawling with titans!” Jean marched up to you angrily.

“I’m well aware of that,” you answer, sounding oddly exasperated. “It changes nothing. That building cannot fall and you all need to refill your canisters.”

“(f/n),” Marco asks softly, “Why are you out here? What happened?”

You look down, speaking quietly, “I was with four of the Garrison, we were searching for you guys to group up and reclaim the supply building. I can… I can stop the titans…” You hear several gasp and one muttering darkly that you’ve lost your mind—which you assumed was probably Ymir. “We had just gotten here to find a group of them.

“Just as they were about to finish off the last one, four variants showed up…they kept coming and then…” You took a deep breath, finishing quickly, “They killed them and then they just stood there watching me for over ten minutes before finally wandering off.”  
The cadets starred as your vision blurred again, not with tears this time, but with the memory of the variants circled around you. 

~Flashback~

Why aren’t they stopping like the others? 

“Christine! We gotta get outta here!” 

The brunette glanced at you before barely dodging a titan’s hand, “We can’t! We must reach that building!”

The black haired man nodded and turned his attention to the 10-meter aberrant in front of him. He twisted out of the monsters reach launching his wires into the thing’s shoulder to swing himself around behind it. Just as the man pulled back his blades to attack, the titan that had swallowed the first man jumped into the air again catching the soldier around his thighs. He screamed as the beast swallowed him, his blades dropping to the ground along with his right arm.

Christine sliced the nape a moment later, the titan crashing into the house across the street reducing one side into little more than jagged rubble. The girl pushed off the wall to assist the last of her comrades when the young red-haired boy was swatted aside like a fly.

“Robyn!” Christine flew towards the boy as his lifeless body was grabbed by the titan that had hit him.

Christine’s wires pulled taught suddenly as one of the monsters grabbed a hold of it, she was yanked backwards through the air, her cloak’s hood blowing over her head. She slammed into the collapsed house, her cloak snagging on the roof’s edge as she began to fall. 

You see her look at you, her face and shoulder bloody and her gaze empty as the force of the blow nearly knocked her out. Her cloak rips itself free of her shoulders as the variant grabs her, it’s other hand reaching up towards her. You glance around at the other titans to find them watching you with what you could have sworn was an almost puzzled look on their ugly, smiling faces.

The four companions you had were gone, Christine’s blood splattering her cloak as the aberrant bit down on her torso…you fall to your knees as tears run down your cheeks.

The three terrors stood there, still as statues, as you cried. By the time your tears finally ran dry, you heard the titan’s footsteps starting to fade as they walked away leaving you to watch the bloody cloak waving in the breeze over an equally bloody street.

~End Flashback~>

The cadets looked at you as you shook your head clear of the horrible deaths that you had watched. Many of them seemed ready to bolt for the closest hiding spot and hope beyond hope that they would somehow manage to survive…you had to admit, you couldn’t blame them.  
You looked at Jean, “You have to get out of here…which means you have to retake that supply building.”

Jean glanced over at the titans climbing the building’s walls, “Hey, Armin, any of those look like variants to you?”

Armin jumped at the sound of his name, but shook his head a moment later, “impossible to say for sure, but I don’t think they are.”

“Alright then, we do the same thing as those soldiers. We take (f/n) with us to the supply HQ; Mikasa, Bertholdt and I will be ahead to take down as many as possible to clear a path for the rest of you.”

Marco looked at Jean with a cross between surprise and admiration as he smiled at his friend. You glance at Mikasa to see her blank eyes and realized she hadn’t heard a word. 

She steps up to the edge of the roof with a blade drawn, “We can do this…even if I have to do it alone.”

“You plan on taking on that many titans by yourself?” You heard a cadet behind you ask incredulously. 

“I’m strong, stronger than any of you. If I can’t, I die…If I win, I live…I can’t win unless I fight…” Suddenly she steps off the roof, her wires pulling her up through the air, heading off alone, too quick for anyone to catch up to her.

“What a lame pep talk,” Jean mutters beside you, and then he and the other cadets were rushing past you. An arm wrapped itself around your waist as you were carried—again. Your gaze traveled up the rather thick arm to see an all-too-happy blonde Reiner smirking at you as his grip tightened.

“What the hell are you smirking at, Reiner?”

He continued to grin even when you punched his shoulder—in fact his grin may have actually gotten wider as your assault went mostly unnoticed. You protested relentlessly as he carried you along, the smile ever widening as he was forced to tighten or shift his hold on you. The three cadets leading the group easily cut down every titan the group passed. Finally you crashed through the window and instantly swung out of Reiner’s grip. When he laughed you kicked him in the shin, then finally gave in to the slight shudder you had been suppressing.

His grin wilted a little at the movement as Jean burst out laughing, “better watch it Reiner…clearly you give (f/n) the creeps!”

You tried not the laugh, “nah…he is just SO not my type,” fucking titan-shifting traitor, you thought venomously.

Glancing around you noticed Connie, Armin, and Mikasa were missing. They’ll be here soon…gotta fetch the shifter after all…

Jean looked out the window to see two faces staring at him and nearly panicked, but you pointed out that they weren’t moving and distracted him with the soldiers hiding under the overturned furniture.

A moment later glass shattering behind you announced the missing trio’s arrival, as well as the giant fist which took out the staring titans just outside the window. You turned around smiling and noticed the rifle lying on the ground behind Armin. As Armin explained about the mysterious titan-killing titan you grabbed the gun and tried not to giggle at the reaction that awaited them.

The cadets began discussing options on how to deal with the titans as you went to look at the ground floor, passing the rifle to a confused Armin on your way out the door. As soon as you were able to see the monsters you noticed they were already motionless. Looking around the room you realized that it was way too cramped for their maneuver gear to be of any use with or without your ability to help. Plus if I do all the work here…then Armin won’t realize he’s a pretty good strategist.

Walking back to the cadets you heard Armin talking about using the rifles to blind the titans allowing (he glanced up as you rejoined them holding up seven fingers) the hidden seven best titan-slayers to strike. You offered to wait just far enough away for the titans to be able to get in place and as soon as they fired the rifles you would run in to ensure no one would get hurt.

It wasn’t long before they all headed out while you remained behind, listening to the occasional crash as the titans continued fighting outside. You smiled as you could hear the faint laughter of the cadets as they headed to their places, enjoying a light-hearted moment before the fight.

You were zoning off a bit when you vaguely recalled a man’s deep voice speaking to you… (f/n), you will have no reason to fear them. Protect the Regiment at all costs, but remember the rule…

Gunfire brought you back to reality as you turned and ran to the cadets, arriving just in time to stop two titans in their tracks with Sasha cringing in fear as she was apologizing to the giant that had been staring at her while Mikasa killed it.

A couple minutes later, everyone was laughing and smiling as they enjoyed their victory over the titans and their newly acquired bragging rights that it was the fresh-out-of-training cadets that managed to reclaim the supply HQ.

You smiled knowingly at Jean and Marco as they sat together refilling canisters; afterwards you followed as everyone stepped outside to see the titans pinning the ‘titan ally’ to a building. As the giants turned to face you, the half-eaten titan broke free to attack a variant--the same one that had eaten Thomas--before it collapsed and you simply watched blank-faced as the figure began to break apart, revealing Eren’s now healed form. Mikasa and Armin rushed down as you looked at the shocked faces of your friends, your face breaking into a huge grin. 

So now it begins…the real shitty part of the story…

Soldiers crowded the streets, nearly every one of them staring at each other with haunted expressions. Several spoke of simply walking away—consequences be damned. They had seen too much, sacrificed too much…no longer able to remember why they had starting fighting in the first place.

“We’ve been ordered to maintain secrecy,” you overheard Jean as he spoke with Christa, Ymir, and Connie. You were trying to decide where you should go—to Eren or to Pixis? Could you get the Garrison to back down? Or would it be better to talk to Pixis yourself? You knew a messenger should make him curious, but what if your interference had changed that?

“If people found out about Eren, they would….,” Jean’s words caused you to jump up as you looked towards the wall just in time for the cannon fire.

As the soldiers started to freak out, you ran off to find Pixis…in fact you were running so fast you nearly passed him as he headed towards the walls.

He was walking down the middle of the road, occasionally sipping from his flask, at a nice slow leisurely pace. Three others walked with him, one of which seemed to be a messenger. “Sir, the Garrison has the cadet that is reported to have emerged from the titan.”

“I see, once they have handled-“

“They’re not going to handle anything,” you stepped in front of General Pixis whose eyes widened slightly, clearly surprised to see a civilian cut him off in such a manner. “They already shot a cannon at him, they have no intention of learning anything, they just want to kill him because they don’t understand him.”

Pixis eyed you curiously, “Can you blame them?”

“Yes, I can,” you spat angrily, “Just because you don’t understand something is no reason to destroy it…in fact just the opposite. You could use him in order to win the first battle against titans. One cannot hope to achieve anything by hiding behind a wall until death finds you.”

The general thought a moment, then stepped passed you, continuing for the wall-at a slightly quicker pace than before, “that’s an interesting way of thinking, one would think with that kind of opinion you would in the military.”

“I woke up three weeks ago with no memories,” of how I got here that is you finished in your head. 

The two of you walked in silence as a few soldiers watched Pixis. You waved at Marco and Christa as you passed-both looking very confused.  
As you neared the Garrison you looked up to see Jean and the titan-trio on a nearby roof. Pixis slowed as he reached the space where a young blonde boy stood between several nervous soldiers and a large cloud of smoke.

Armin stood tall, right fist over his heart in the proudest salute he had ever given, “By combining his titan power with our remaining troops it might be possible to retake Wall Maria.”

Pixis glanced at you, “do you know that boy?”

“Armin Arlert, 104th Training Corps…soon to be member of the Scouting Legion along with the two behind him.”

Pixis looked at you oddly at the last, but said nothing as he grabbed the wrist of the Garrison’s Captain Woermann.

“For such a big guy, you’re as fragile as a fawn. Can’t you see what an excellent salute that cadet is giving you? I think I should listen to what these people have to say.” The eyes of all three widened, oblivious to you being there, as Armin dropped to his knees in relief.  
About twenty minutes pass as you stand with Marco in the street listening as everyone continued to panic at the cannon fire earlier that still had not been explained. You heard a man somewhere in the crowd ahead of you yell, “I don’t want to die” as his nerves finally snapped.

The two girls in front you looked at each other, mirroring the man’s thoughts, “I want to choose how I die,” the brunette on your left said.

You glanced at her, “we all do…it’s rare that a person gets that chance though. Death has a way of sneaking up on a person, but those who fight are choosing how they die…consider what would happen if no one fought.”

Marco smiled at you, but the man on your right was beyond listening, “I don’t care, I just want to see my daughter again.”

You started to turn to him as you saw General Pixis step up the edge of wall, “ATTENTION!”

Everyone looked up at the man, “I will now explain the plan to retake Trost! To do this, we will reseal the hole in the gate.” People began to break down at the thought, “In order for this to succeed, let me start by introducing this man, Eren Yeager of the Cadet Corps.” You laughed at the reaction from Jean and Connie, “He is the product of top-secret experiences, now able to reproduce the essence of a titan body.”

Soldiers started to mutter that what he said was a lie to get them “to go die for nothing”; many of them started to walk off with the Garrison and Military Police trying to keep them there. When Pixis decreed that any who wanted to leave could do so without penalty nearly every single one turned away. That is until Pixis echoed your earlier comment, “If you do not fight now, consider what you leave your families to face later.”

All froze as they recalled the bloody streets and destruction before turning back with regained determination to protect their loved ones.

Ok…that’s done. Now how to make sure that I’m in Trost…


	4. Savior and Decisions

~Earlier~  
You had tracked General Pixis down just when he was about to let the Garrison handle the situation; “The Garrison already shot a canon they’ll just kill them.”  
Pixis eyed you curiously, “Can you blame them?”  
“Yes,” your (e/c) eyes blazing, “Just because you don’t understand something is no reason to destroy it. One cannot hope to achieve anything by hiding behind a wall.” He ended up having you walk with him to see the cadets personally. You later stood with Marco as Pixis explained to plan to reclaim Trost using the top-secret human weapon (AKA Eren Yeager—much to Jean’s irritation).  
~Time skip—as Pixis fully explains and gets the soldiers to stay to fight~  
You were sitting with Christa (and unfortunately Ymir) when a soldier walked up you, “(f/n)?” You looked up and nodded, “please come with me.”  
You glanced at Christa, who watched wide eyed, then shrugged before following the soldier. He ended up taking you up to the wall and left you with two members of the Garrison who he introduced as Gustav and Anka. They motioned for you follow as they walked back to Armin and Mikasa who stood in front of a map, though Mikasa was too busy keeping an eye on Eren.  
Armin smiled at you nervously as you stopped beside him, “(f/n), I-I told them about what you could do…I hope you don’t mind.”  
You shook your head as Gustav looked at your clearly civilian clothes—tan pants and a white blouse, “You’re sure you want to do this? You’re no soldier.”  
You simply nodded again as Anka turned to you, “Why would you do that?”  
You looked at her and answered bluntly, “Because I can do something that could save lives, and I refuse to stand aside as others die while I do nothing.”  
They both nod—with a clear look of surprise (and maybe respect) in their eyes—as they turned back to the map. You elbowed Armin in the ribs, when he turned to you with a thoughtful look in his eyes you smiled, nodding encouragingly.  
It took him a moment, but then he turned back to Gustav, “I think we should use a large number of soldiers here on the wall to draw the titans in. We should also have a small elite squad to protect Eren…this way most won’t have to even fight.”  
Gustav nodded, “Let’s rework our strategy based on that.”  
Armin seemed surprised that he instantly decided to use his idea. You smiled at him, “you’re a hell of a strategist there Armin,” which made him blush.  
Anka and Gustav left to stay with Pixis as Ian, Mitavi, Rico and Eren joined you. Armin waved as he ran to the section of the wall where the soldiers were gathering all the titans. You ran with your new “squad” as Mikasa spoke with Eren. Rico got between them complaining about Mikasa’s melodrama.  
You glared at Mitavi as he told Eren, “To think we have to put humankind in the hands of a spoiled brat like you.”  
“Oi; that spoiled brat is putting his life on the line just like you and every other soldier—even before he found out about his power.”  
Eren and Mikasa stared you appreciatively until Rico spoke up, “Many of those soldiers will die because of you. They are not just voiceless pawns…get that through your head.”  
Eren nodded with a distant look in his eyes, “dammit Rico,” she glanced at you quickly, “now was so not the time for that!”  
“We’re approaching the most direct route to the boulder. Everyone get ready,” Ian called out as Rico paused to fire the green flare.  
A black-haired man from Mitavi’s squad carried you to a roof near the boulder. You watched as Eren bit his hand, transforming as he began to fall to the ground. You stood beside Rico as Eren swung his fist at Mikasa, Rico quickly muttered under her breath as she fired the red flare. A few moments later Eren crashed to the ground, both wrists and his face steaming.  
Mitavi and Rico were arguing about pulling back with Ian, he took one look at Mikasa’s reaction to their comment about leaving him behind and quickly ordered the squads to continue the mission.  
“We protect Yeager; unlike us there is no one who can replace him. Ackerman, you are to work independently, that will put your abilities to the best use.”  
Mikasa stood a moment starring at Eren, “Give him time…he’ll come back.”  
She nodded slowly before taking you to the street. You made sure to stay near Eren until a familiar mop of blonde hair flew overhead. You headed back to the boulder with Mikasa, as she tried to get Armin away, “he can’t control that body, the mission’s failed.”  
“You have to snap him out of it, Armin. Talk to him; remind him why he joined the military in the first place.”  
You knew Mikasa was staring at you oddly, but Armin just turned and, using his gear to keep him in place, rammed his blade into the titan’s back. As Eren roared in pain and Armin began calling out to him, you returned to running through the streets with Mikasa and Ian’s squad.  
It wasn’t long before you noticed more and more titans filling the area as they were drawn to Eren. You also noticed a major problem…the titans weren’t stopping as long as before.  
Is it because of Eren? Or me?  
Anger and fear fought for supremacy within your chest as you watched more soldiers die. Mikasa had no problems naturally, but the slower men were finding the titan’s moving again before they could strike the nape. Frighteningly you also found that a couple of the taller monsters actually started reaching for you as well.  
Eventually you feel heavy footfalls shake the ground; looking around you saw a familiar boy standing on a roof near you.  
Mikasa left you behind as she raced towards Eren, as you called out, “Marco!”  
The figure quickly dropped down to you as his eyes darted around looking for titans. “(f/n), what are you doing down here?”  
“Well, about that…would you mind taking me up there…to see Eren? There are also a few too many titans around and it’s getting kind of tiring running around down here…” you only lied a little…  
Marco smiled and nervously carried you as his cheeks blush a very bright scarlet. You stood together watching as Eren sealed the hole with enough force to crack the wall. Rico dropped to her knees before firing a yellow flare.  
Just as Armin and Rico got Eren free of the body, two titans stepped up. Mikasa tensed, ready to strike, when a figure suddenly cut down both giants. The ever famous Lance Corporal Levi landed on the titan’s head looking over his shoulder at the Shiganshina trio.  
You smiled to yourself as Marco cocked his head, there’s my favorite shorty…  
~On the way to the wall with Marco~  
Marco offered to carry you back to the wall to regroup with the others, before everyone headed back out to clear the titans from the city. Halfway there a titan tried to jump over a building, but was cut down mid-air, so that it crashed into a house sending debris flying. A large chunk of stone came straight for you and Marco, hitting your right temple, causing you to lose consciousness.  
Your vision went black immediately, but you remember hearing very faint voices, Marco and someone that sounded very familiar.  
“I’m sorry, Marco…it’s for your own good…”  
“What are you—“  
‘………..’  
You woke up with Marco sitting beside you. His eyes instantly lit up, “(f/n)…thank goodness.”  
“What happened?”  
“That stone knocked you out…and apparently it got me too,” you cocked your head sideways-instantly regretting the movement as your vision swam. “They found me lying beside you unconscious…we’ve both been out for three days.”  
“Three days?”  
“Yeah, they finished clearing out the titans and collecting the fallen yesterday.”  
So…Marco’s saved then…right? But how? Who was that I heard talking to him; he doesn’t seem to remember anything.  
Whoever it was…I can’t help, but think they sounded kind of like…me…

 

You and Marco had been released from the infirmary yesterday to find out that Eren was being held by the Military Police. Frankly, you were amazed that you weren’t right there with him, all things considered. In fact, no one ever came to question you about your presence in Trost…it was as if you had been left out of the reports.  
You joined the cadets that evening to stand with them as they watched their fallen friends be burned in the pyre. You stood between Jean and Marco staring into the flames in silence. Deep down you knew that there would have been a greater number of casualties if you hadn’t been there, but you still felt guilty for not saving more.  
Marco wrapped an arm around your shoulders as tears ran down his face, “I know I came here to join the Military Police, but…”You and Jean glanced up at the freckled brunette, “I’m joining the Scouting Legion.”  
“Why the hell would you do that Marco?” Jean turned to stare in shock.  
“Eren was right, back at the beginning of training, as much as we fear the titans we can’t keep living in fear. I can’t let our friends die for nothing…they…they…”  
You hugged Marco tightly, “I know what you mean. I’m not a soldier, but if I’m going to die one day, then I’d rather it be given for the sake of others…to protect someone.”  
Jean looked at the two of you with a lost look on his face, “Dammit…I’m joining too. The Scouting Legion…some of these soldiers died because I led them to the supply HQ.”  
The next afternoon you were eating with Armin as he and Mikasa discussed what would happen at Eren’s trial, “I can’t be sure, but I imagine it’s to decide if they let him live or kill him.”  
Mikasa stood abruptly at Armin’s words, a deadly glare in her eyes, when the door opened to show three Garrison members.  
“Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Arlert, and (f/n) (l/n),” the three of you stood and looked to the bearded brunette man, “Arlert and Ackerman, you are to report to the courthouse for Eren Yeager’s trial. (L/n), you are summoned by Commander Erwin Smith.”  
The men walked out the door without another word as you turned to look at Armin. “Commander Smith? What the hell…I’ve been expecting just about anyone, but him…”  
Armin and Mikasa just shrugged as you followed them out the door. Once you got to the courthouse they were led inside by the Garrison as Pixis walked up to you with the tall bushy browed Erwin behind him.  
“(f/n), I’d like to thank you personally for your assistance in Trost,” Pixis spoke quietly so the Military Police nearby wouldn’t hear him. “I made sure that all mention of you was removed from the reports, as a civilian they would have thrown you in prison or executed you without hesitation. However, I believe you may be of more use to Commander Smith here.”  
Erwin smiled at you, “I have been informed of your abilities. I must admit that I am intrigued, but since Eren’s trial is about to begin I will have to ask you to wait for us to speak until afterwards.”  
“Of course,” you followed the two men as they walked inside. They led you to a small room where Erwin opened the door motioning you inside.  
“Once the trial is over we will meet here; I do hope you won’t have to wait long.”  
You smiled, “No worries…I’ll be fine here. You just worry about making sure you get custody of Eren.”  
Erwin raised a brow before nodding slightly and closing the door as he walked with Pixis, but not before you heard the blonde say, “you were right, she is interesting…”  
You waited for about an hour, occasionally hearing raised voices as they argued amongst themselves…mostly the merchants and wall priests. You also heard the very loud surprised gasp, making you smile and wish you were in the room, as Levi began his ‘discipline by pain’ demonstration.  
Shortly after you were sitting on the desk staring out the window as the door opened. You turned to face Mike, Hanji, Erwin, Eren, and Levi with a smile. Eren seemed surprised to see you waiting there, but didn’t say anything as Hanji had him sit on the couch so she could clean the wounds on his face.  
“You look like shit, Eren…” Levi and Erwin both looked at you as Eren just groaned.  
“Who are you brat?” Levi asked as he leaned against the wall.  
“(f/n) (l/n),” he said nothing as Mike walked up to the desk and sniffed you; you side-glanced at him before rolling your eyes.  
“Does it hurt, Eren?” Hanji asked as she finished cleaning the blood off his face. “You could have held back Levi…”  
Erwin knelt in front of Eren to thank him, offering a hand, which Eren gladly shook, “You have my utmost respect.”  
“Tch,” Levi said pushing off the wall and sitting on the other side of the couch from Eren, placing one leg over the other, “Do you resent me Eren?”  
Erwin looked at Levi before standing up and joining you at the desk. “I would like you to spend a couple of weeks with Hanji here as she conducts her research on the titans we’ve recently captured. She will also work with you to discover the extent of your own abilities.”  
“Sure, whatever I can do to he—” You chuckled at Hanji’s face as she stared into Eren’s mouth.  
“His tooth…it’s already…growing back.”  
“Levi will take Eren to Regiment HQ today and once Hanji is satisfied with the results of the tests with the captured titans you will accompany the cadets that decide to join the Scouting Legion to HQ as well.”  
You noticed Levi glare at that last part, but chose to ignore it as you agreed to stay with Hanji for the time being.  
~ Time Skip ~  
Hanji had quickly become bored with testing you around the two titans since they stopped moving when you were around…but it did have some interesting results. Hanji had realized that you had a sort of time limit with the titans; they would both start moving again suddenly if you just stood there. However, if you were alone they stayed still for several minutes, but with others nearby they would move after only two minutes.  
Hanji sent you to the cadets graduation ceremony with Erwin, saying simply that she would have to continue testing you when you were among other titans—ones that weren’t tied down—as well as seeing if you had any effect on Eren.  
You stood just off the stage as Erwin spoke to the cadets standing before him. Erwin began telling the teenagers about the insane casualty rate of the Scouting Legion—causing Mike, who stood beside you, to groan slightly. Then he turned slightly, waving you over as the two soldiers with a large map stepped onto the stage as well.  
You walked up to Erwin, unsure of why he wanted you there, as he continued his speech on the plan to head for Eren’s basement. You looked out and saw Armin staring at you in confusion; you began to smile until Erwin grabbed your shoulder.  
“(F/n) here has agreed to work with the Regiment and Eren in the retaking of Wall Maria,” you glanced at him before looking back out to the crowd, who whispered amongst themselves—most didn’t know about you and just saw a civilian.  
“While Eren can become a titan, (f/n) can prevent them from moving for a short time, allowing our soldiers to get close enough to safely cut the titans down. Together, these two will allow humankind to have a chance at reclaiming our freedom…”thanks Erwin…no pressure there…”So ask yourselves, Am I willing to give my heart to humankind? Those who will join another Regiment are dismissed.”  
You and Erwin stood on the stage, watching as almost every cadet simply turned on their heel and walked away. You weren’t surprised of course, but made sure to force a shocked look onto your face as you saw Connie, Sasha and the others stay in place—though not without looking like they would faint or run at any moment. It wasn’t much longer before only a handful remained, some looking terrified; Erwin nodded as he saluted them.  
~ Time Skip ~  
You were following the cadets around, keeping an eye out for Hanji or Levi, when you saw Eren come up to the new recruits. He hugged Armin and Mikasa as he looked at the faces of everyone who joined, “So only Jean, Annie, and Marco went to the Military Police?”  
“No,” you said pointing behind him at Jean and Marco, “just Annie.”  
That night you sat beside Marco as Jean started questioning Eren, “So you’re saying you can’t control your titan powers?” Eren nodded before Jean started towards him, “Not everyone can give their lives unconditionally like Mikasa.”  
“Jean…” Marco started to stand, but you put a hand on his arm shaking your head.  
“So that’s why…” Jean grabbed Eren’s shoulders, his turquoise eyes widening in surprise, “we’re really counting on you Eren.”  
Another week later, you found yourself on a chestnut mare behind Hanji as everyone crowded the streets to see the Scouting Legion off on the next expedition. The new members were nervous, but you were too far from them to offer support as you listened to Hanji get excited about the titans.  
“I wonder if we’ll get to see a variant…”she said giddy with excitement.  
“I already see one,” you giggled as Hanji started looking around. Levi glanced at you then grabbed her head, turning it to face him, “it’s right here.”  
A ball rang through the air as everyone tensed; Erwin ordered the gates up before charging forward yelling, “The 57th Expedition begins now!”

The support team had been assigned to escort the Scout Regiment, many giving the unmoving titans puzzled looks since Erwin had remained silent about your abilities. It wasn’t long before you reached the edge of the so called titan country; you glanced at the others, Petra and Eld both smiled slightly at you in reassurance. You were nervous, but not for the reason they thought; you were remembering the note you found this morning sitting on your pillow which had unnerved you. Worse was that the simple words--Stay with Squad Levi--had been signed with the name Raiden… the same name of the man that you often had nightmares about.

“Deploy long range scouting formation!” Erwin called, the soldiers quickly spreading out. 

You rode between Gunther and Oluo, constantly looking around for the flares that showed where the titans were located. Worriedly you wondered if the flanks would be in even more danger as variants actively moved towards you, but this concern had been voiced and disregarded already. Erwin assured you that the flanks could take care of any titans that moved towards them and that you should just trust the soldiers that had spent years training for this.

Your eyes snapped towards the left flank, seeing a red flare, quickly followed by a series of three red flares from the right flank within about half an hour. You tensed as you realized the lack of flares of any color from the right and knew immediately what caused it…they had been wiped out. You kept your head turned to the right, watching so intently your eyes stung from the need to blink…then you saw it, the black smoke rising into the air.

The female titan…it’ll be running up to Armin right about now. You glanced at the small group surrounding you, eyes narrowing slightly when Eren smiled at you. Why in hell did I listen to that damn note?

You wanted to race towards Armin and try to prevent the titan from heading this way, but that would change everything…and you doubted Erwin would appreciate you ruining his plan to capture the titan. You looked down, battling with yourself about what to do when you noticed another slip of paper tucked into the edge of your saddle. Pulling it out you were surprised to find a letter addressed to you; confused you carefully opened it to see the same messy handwriting as this morning.

Don’t forget your orders—I saved that Marco kid for you, —You noticed the writing got worse here as if in anger—don’t make me cover for you again. Also, I’ve been informed that I’ll be the one to clean up your mess if you fuck this up …keep to the plan (f/n); I’d hate to have to punish you.  
Your Shadow, Raiden

Closing your eyes and sighing in defeat you remained with Levi…though you weren’t even sure why. The name Raiden alone terrified you for some unknown reason, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move away from the elite squad. Gripping the reins tightly you focused on what was ahead of you, dreading the moment that was to come.

It had only been an hour since leaving the wall when you noticed a series of green flares from the right. Levi ordered Oluo to fire the flare as the squad turned towards the East and a man on horseback rode up to your group. 

“I have a message. The right flank has suffered a devastating blow; they no longer have scouting capabilities. Please relay the message to the left flank,” the man nodded before riding back towards his own squad as Eren’s eyes widened slightly.

“You heard him, Petra,” Levi ordered without even blinking at the news.

As Petra rode off towards the next squad, you looked at Eren, “He’s fine…” the boy glanced at you, “Armin. I know you’re worried, but he’s fine. He was closer to the center…he’s fine, Eren.” Eren nodded still not really believing you as a black flare rose into the air from your right. 

You looked ahead at the forest which was quickly getting closer as Eren fired the flare beside you. As the seven of you rode straight into the middle of the forest you glanced at the team surrounding you, things were about to get very ugly. I wish I could do something to stop this…you thought desperately.

You followed right behind Levi as Eren spoke, “Captain. If only the center entered the forest, we won’t be able to see the titans coming!”

“Stop whining. There’s no way we can that anymore. Look around at all these big ass trees, Eren. It’s perfect for our 3DM gear. Now think, think real hard if you don’t want to die.”

Eren glanced around as Oluo muttered to himself before realizing no one knew what the plan truly was. You frowned as you noticed Eren get even more worked up, you wanted to tell him something to get make him to calm down, but knew you couldn’t risk it. Before you could think of anything to say Eren tensed up anxiously as a column of black smoke rose into the air directly behind you. 

“Draw your swords, if it shows itself it’ll only be for a moment.” Levi spoke calmly; well aware of what was coming from his years of experience. You noticed him glance at you, almost worriedly, but you only nodded and continued riding right behind him.

You heard the footsteps pound into the ground before grimacing as you heard the unmistakable sound of a soldier getting smashed into a tree. You looked over your right shoulder just in time to see it move in behind Eren, crashing through a tree in the process. 

“Damn, it’s fast. There’s no way to outrun it here,” Gunther said as he looked at the giant chasing them.

Petra called out to Levi, fear lacing her voice, just as more soldiers moved in to attack the titan. The female barely reacted, slamming one man into another tree after dodging the wire and crushing another in her fist. She continued chasing the group as they prepared to battle the titan, despite their fear.

“We’re going to kill it! That’s why we’re in this forest,” Eld called out.

Levi turned to look behind him, “Cover your ears, everybody.” Without a moment’s hesitation he simply raised his flare gun and shot off an acoustic round.

“Was your job to simply succumb to your emotions? I’m sure that wasn’t it…the mission of this squad is to keep this brat unhurt to our last breath. We continue on horseback.” Levi spoke as calmly as if he was sitting in his office not trying to outrun a 15 meter tall titan.

The others stared for a moment before nodding. You noticed Eren again getting worked up as everyone agreed to simply keep running and not to fight, his one goal in life…

“Without reinforcements we’ll be beaten!” Eren said frantically.

“Keep looking forward, Eren,” Gunther ordered.

“If the Levi Squad doesn’t beat her, then who will?” Eren looked over his shoulder as a man was crushed into a tree, “We could have saved him!”

Petra watched him, but before she could speak you looked back at Eren, “Follow Levi…there’s a plan Eren, keep moving forward.” 

Eren stared at you as Oluo ordered him to shut up and keep riding…then you saw his eyes narrow slightly as he sheathed his blades. You knew the thoughts racing through his mind right now; not wanting to see others die needlessly, the need to fight, him not wanting to depend on others, and how he could stop the titan…You knew what he wanted to do long before he began raising his hand to his mouth.

Just as he was about to bite down on his hand, Petra called to him, “You promised us that you’d only do that if your life was threatened, Eren!”

Levi knew what the boy wanted to do just as well as you and without turning to look at him he spoke, “What you’re feeling isn’t wrong. If you want to fight, then go…this guy’s a real monster, and it has nothing to do with his ability; even in a cage no one can subjugate his will. 

Make your choice, believe in yourself or believe in me and the Regiment. No one can predict how things will turn out. That’s why the best you can do is to make a choice with no regrets.”

Petra pleaded for him to trust his squad, making Eren pause for a moment. You could tell he was remembering something…the experiment with Hanji…then the squad turning on him during the accidental shift with the teaspoon…them apologizing in their own way…

“Eren, what’s taking so long!? Decide!” Levi ordered.

Eren closed his eyes for a moment, “I’m going forward!”

The titan killed another soldier before bending over to gain more speed. As she closed the distance between her and the squad she reached out a hand towards Eren. He leaned his head back to look at her just as everyone noticed the soldiers gathered in the trees.

“Fire!” Erwin yelled as hundreds of wires were launched at the titan to hold her in place as the squad continued on with you dropping back slightly.

“Tie the horse up ahead and switch to 3D maneuvers. You’ll work separately from me; take your orders from Eld,” Levi ordered before returning to the titan, leaving his squad to move on without him.

You stopped your horse in the middle of the path, turning slightly to stare at the female titan as she stood trapped in the wires, her hands covering the nape of her neck. You simply sat there watching, how can they not see it. Armin…Eren…any of them, they should have recognized her…

Stay with Squad Levi… the note flashed in your mind’s eye as you glanced at Levi and Erwin before sighing and turning your horse back towards Eren. The titan would get away soon…you didn’t have time to try to convince them of her ability, they would just have to find out on their own.

You had a mission to complete…a squad to try to save from the traitor…


	5. Sacrifice and Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is crazy long compared to the rest...it was originally split in half, but I decided to upload as one chapter instead (may change once I edit tomorrow)

You quickly caught back up with the squad, without them noticing, and followed them further into the forest. After tying up the horses everyone seemed to relax slightly as they waited for Levi’s signal to regroup.  
“That was his plan from the beginning,” Eren spoke to no one in particular, “I get why the rookies weren’t told, but I don’t understand why the Scout Regiment veterans were kept in the dark.”  
“Are you saying that the Commander and Captain don’t trust us?” Petra asked angrily, swiping a blade through the air at the thought.  
“That’s how it looks…”  
Oluo grimaced at Eren’s words before turning to face him, “Petra! Yank that brat’s teeth out and stuff them back in his mouth!”  
Eld looked at Oluo, “Eren’s right. There’s only one reason why you can’t trust a fellow soldier. Someone in the regiment is a titan…or working with the titans as a spy.”  
“A spy?” Gunther turned to Eld in surprise.  
“The Commander at least thinks so; it’s likely the only ones who were told are those who survived the attack from five years ago.”  
Oluo shrugged, “then that’s how it is.”  
“Must be,” Petra stated, earning a surprised glance from Eren.  
Eld seemed to think a moment before saying quietly, “maybe he’s the one that killed Sonny and Bean then.”  
You looked at Petra as she stared at the ground, “So, that’s why he asked then…”  
You noticed everyone's eyes blank slightly as they remembered Erwin asking them about what they saw when looking at the dead titans.  
“If I had been able to answer then maybe I could have been part of the main operation.”  
Oluo watched his squad with a smirk, “I knew what was going on, but chose not to answer.”  
You turned to the wanna-be captain, “Liar,” when he turned to you angrily you just smiled, “that’s bullshit and you know it. If you knew anything your big mouth would said something. And stop trying to be Levi, you sound nothing like him.”  
Eren was staring at the ground lost in thought as you put a hand on his shoulder, “I know that look, I agree that too many died…but there may not have been another way,” you forced yourself to sound upset and confused at the same time, but you felt was frustration that you had been unable to stop all the deaths, “it may not seem like it now, but it’ll make sense eventual—“  
You were cut off as loud roaring filled the air, the screams clearly coming from where the female titan was captured. The squad turned to back towards the sound, shock and confusion clear on their faces; so it begins…Mike should smell the titans just about now. Then she’ll be free…”  
Inside the forest with the titans  
The titans charged towards the middle of the forest heading straight for the female titan as a figure in black moved through the air just behind them. The man slowed as they neared the soldiers sent to intercept the giants, who were promptly ignored in favor of trying bite into the titan-shifter. He watched as a short man quickly spun through the air, killing the monsters, with a slight smirk on his face.  
“So, she’ll get free in the chaos…which means that (f/n) should be around here somewhere,” the man moved away from the soldiers as the titans overwhelmed them, quickly filling the air with steam as they ate the female titan’s body which only helped the man slip past them without being noticed and headed towards Squad Levi.  
“I hope you’re ready, (f/n)…here she comes…”  
back to the Levi Squad  
You watched as a blue flare rose into the sky signaling the retreat…she’s free; it’s beginning…  
Gunther stood up, “Looks like it’s over.”  
Oluo grinned, “Let’s go see what that shit inside looks like.”  
You waited as everyone checked their equipment before heading off; you could hear them talking, but didn’t pay much attention to them as you thought about the titan that would soon destroy this little family. You heard Oluo and Petra bickering as they teased Eren; Eld ordered everyone to move which pulled you attention back to the present.  
“Oluo, Petra, for two who wet their pants their first expedition you’ve done well for yourselves.”  
Petra’s eyes widened in disbelief as she stared at Eld, “Don’t say that!”  
“I’m still a better soldier than you, idiot,” Oluo said, sounding a bit smug as usual.  
Eld smiled, “You can’t judge who’s a better soldier just by kills…and Eren, I didn’t wet myself.”  
Gunther glanced over his shoulder, “This isn’t a picnic, we’re still outside the walls…but for the record, I didn’t leak either.”  
You rolled your eyes at the group as you followed beside Petra. You looked up as a green flare rose to your left. Gunther landed on a branch to fire the flare before everyone turned to follow him.  
“We’re regrouping with Corporal Levi!”  
You felt your chest tighten at Gunther’s words, knowing that the traitor was getting closer. As you continued to follow the group, you didn’t see the cloaked figure approach the group as you watched a faint figure in black that seemed to be following you.  
You could barely hear Gunther as he spoke quietly, “Levi? No…it’s not him. Who are you?”  
At the last second you recognized the words and quickly turned to watched as the figure abruptly turned in the air and headed straight for the dark haired man. You clenched your fists as you watched the blades cut across Gunther’s chest before he had a chance to react.  
“Gunther!” You heard Petra and Eren shout as the man’s body swung at the end of his maneuver gear before stopping to hang off the tree branch staring at the sky with blank eyes.

 

How could I have been so stupid! You thought harshly as the squad stared in horror at Gunther.

Eren looked as if he would turn back, but Oluo grabbed his arm, “Eren, don’t stop. We have to keep moving.” Oluo turned forward and called out to his squad, “Protect Eren! Eld, which way do we go?”

The blonde kept his attention ahead of him, hoping to avoid the figure chasing them, “Leave the horses behind and head for HQ as fast as you can.”

You watched the cloaked figure over your shoulder as well as the black-clad man to your right-I’m surprised the others haven’t noticed him yet…

You heard Petra shout at the soldier, “Dammit! I’ll kill you, or die trying!”

The figure’s answer…was to disappear suddenly.

Eld watched the trees where the figure had vanished just as a flash of yellow lightning lit up the forest, “It’s coming! The female titan!”

The blonde haired titan burst through the trees as you and the others tried to stay out of her reach, she seemed almost faster than earlier, though not by much. You noticed the other man staying just far away enough to not get caught by either the squad or the titan, but he seemed fine with you knowing about him and you got the distinct feeling that he was watching you…to almost be waiting for you to do something.

Eren glared at the titan following them, “Let me, this time I’ll kill it!” He raised his hand to his mouth, but you reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“No, the three of us will finish her. Eren, (f/n), you get back to HQ,” Eld called back the front of the group.

“I’ll fight with you!”

“I’m sorry, Eren. You can’t fight yet…let them.” It nearly choked you to say the words that you knew would result in more death.

“This is what’s best, your powers are too much of a risk,” Eld tried to reason with the brunette.

Oluo of course went for a more personal jab, “you little shit! Do you doubt our skills?”

“Is that right Eren? Do you have that little faith in us?” Petra asked.

Eren thought a moment, clearly remembering the last time he had a similar doubt, “I believe in our squad’s victory! Godspeed!” Eren turned abruptly to leave the titan in their hands.

You knew you had been ordered to go with him, but just as everyone’s attention turned away you pulled to a stop just beside a tree and waited. You watched as the trio turned to face the female; without even a split second to organize an attack Eld moved to distract the titan as Petra and Oluo managed to get a hook under her eyes and quickly took out her vision.

The giant covered her nape with both hands as she leaned back against a tree. Before she could heal, the others began to slice into her shoulders, moving in blurs until finally the destroyed muscles could no longer hold up and her arms dropped limply to her sides.

You waited, your body tensed anxiously; you only had one chance to get this right. Even a second late would result in death…one you planned to very much prevent. The trio was fanned out around the monster, swinging back around to deliver the final blow.

“If we slice the muscles supporting the head…”Oluo tightened his grip on the blades.

“We can go for the nape of the neck!” Petra glared at the titan.

You pushed off from the tree heading straight for the left of the titan’s head as Eld spoke, “Your nape is about to get—”

The female turned abruptly, mouth opening wide, just as you collided with the blonde man. You heard him scream in agony before hitting the ground hard; you both rolled a short distance then came to stop. You saw the other two moving away from the titan as you stood dizzily; you glanced back at Eld, his right leg was half gone—the titan had managed to get her mouth around the knee—but at least he was alive.

You turned back towards Petra, the girl was staring at the titan, clearly horrified that she was staring back with one blue eye. It would be close, but you thought you had moved quickly enough; luck was not entirely on your side today though…

Just as you reached Petra’s side and pulled her away from the leg that would have crushed her into the tree, the titan’s ankle hit your side. You felt at least one rib give beneath the force of the blow, but had no time to think as you and the ginger-haired girl rolled across the ground and came to a forceful stop head first against the base of a tree.

Your vision blacked slightly before clearing just enough to stand; you looked at Petra, she was unconscious, but breathing steadily.

With blurry vision you could just make out Oluo’s figure move towards the titan’s nape, a flash of slivery light later and Oluo was crushed into the earth beneath the female’s foot. The giant turned towards Eren and began running, when another flash of yellow filled your vision followed by a furious roar ripping through the forest--At least that should get everyone’s attention…

You glanced towards the titans as they ran; Eren swinging punches and the female haphazardly dodging with useless arms. You knelt beside Petra and carefully sat her up against the tree, then turned to Eld only to freeze at the figure that knelt beside him.

The man had pulled his hood back, revealing dark auburn hair that reached his chin in a shaggy cut as if he doesn’t bother cutting it often. You watched as he quickly bandaged Eld’s leg before standing to focus his dark green gaze on you.

As soon as his eyes met yours you recognized…him…the man who left the notes, the one who made it clear that he watched you, and the same one who haunted your dreams.

“Raiden,” you spoke softly, barely above a whisper, but you knew he heard you regardless.

“(f/n), it’s always good to see you, or well I should say talk to you. It’s been quite some time hasn’t it?”

You glanced away from him when you heard a tree cracking in the distance, muffled slightly by the other trees. When you turned back you found him much closer, making you jump slightly… I didn’t even hear him move.

Raiden smirked, “a little jumpy aren’t we? If I wanted to hurt you, I would have already done it.”

You nodded, somehow you knew exactly how honest those words were, “so…why are you here?”

“I was curious about how you would save them. A little disappointing that you only saved two, but then I guess that’s better than the alternative, huh? Oh and how are those ribs?”

Your hand moved to cover the left side of your ribcage protectively; it was throbbing horribly, but the adrenaline still kept most of the pain at a tolerable level at the moment, “fine.”

Raiden smiled, “that’s good. The Society has a message for you…” he stepped closer and whispered in your ear, “Find a way to force Commander Erwin to make good use of you. Break someone if you have too, but make sure you have a presence in the Scouting Legion.”

“Why?”

Raiden paused, a blank look on his face, “I don’t know…but do it.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but instead you were surprised by the words that you heard yourself say, “Of course, I’ll think of something. What about the traitors?”

“Ignore them for now, as well as the two titans currently fighting. Watch them, but don’t interfere. I’ll bring your next orders when the Society decides what it will do.”

You nodded as Raiden turned away from you, as he began to walk away you thought about the odd conversation. You felt a clear need to follow his orders, supposedly coming from some society, and that desire to blindly follow this man terrified you. Everything about him felt wrong, as if he was actually someone very different than what he seemed.

As if to prove you right Raiden called out over his shoulder, “Oh and (f/n), remember to follow my orders alone…you’re mine. I will allow no other to have you…even as a fellow soldier.”

Raiden moved away with his maneuver gear heading off in a direction that would take him far from any of the other squads. He left you standing in the forest to distant roar of fighting titans and falling trees as you repeated the last words he had said.

I will allow no other to have you…What the hell is that all about? And how the hell am I supposed to force Erwin to do anything!

Shaking your head, you decided to ignore the strange exchange with Raiden and quickly headed off to find Eren. You found the two titans in the middle of a clearing with the female pinned down beneath Eren, whose hands were both steaming as they began to slowly heal.

As you watched the female managed to get out from beneath Eren and kicked him away where his back hit a tree. Before she could do anything, however, Eren began swinging his fist at her again forcing her to jump back to dodge.

The female sat with her back to the tree watching Eren, eyes wide in surprise or maybe fear as Eren’s fist came within centimeters of her face before she pushed herself out of the way. Just after dodging another punch you see her hand crystalize as her fist collided with his jaw, tearing it loose.

Your own eyes widened as Eren swept his upper jaw along her arm, teeth grinding against the crystalized flesh. Just as he neared her shoulder, his fist connected with her stomach sending her flying into a tree yet again. She began to flee as Eren’s knee just barely missed her, but she stopped as realized that he wasn’t following.

I should do something…but I was told not to. Why can’t I seem to move…why can’t I ignore his orders?”

You watched the female titan turn back to Eren as he rested a moment against the tree, his rage fueled attacks finally taking their toll on his body. The blonde hesitated a moment before her leg swung out with such force that she broke straight through the tree and the top half of Eren’s titan head.

The rogue titan collapsed as the female approached; you stayed in the shadow of the tree as you noticed a familiar black haired figure arrive just in time to see the female bite Eren out of the titan body and swallow him before turning away to flee again, one hand covering her nape protectively.

 

Break someone if you have to...break someone…You stood in the shadows watching Mikasa chase down the titan; your ribs were beginning to be a problem, the pain making it difficult to breathe. I can’t fight like this. I can’t…

Your thoughts trailed off as a figure passed overhead, quickly catching up to Mikasa. Smiling to yourself you relaxed slightly; Levi and Mikasa would get Eren back...now you just had to get Petra and Eld back to the others. 

Turning back you remembered your “orders”--’watch them’...but without me there everything will be like it’s supposed too. Levi will get hurt though--which takes care of that “break someone” bit. Stepping back into the small clearly you found Petra still sitting against the tree; her eyes widened as she saw you. You smiled to her before walking to Eld who lay on the ground blood already soaking the earth through the bandages.

“(F/n)?” Petra stood just behind you, skin pale as she fought to stay upright, “What happened?”

“You should sit back down Petra. Rest for a while, I need to re-bandage Eld’s leg then we can get back to the others.” You paused a moment to glance at the ginger-haired girl as she slowly sat on the ground, “The female titan has Eren,” Petra gasped sharply, lips parting to speak before you quickly went on, “Mikasa and Levi are catching up to her now. We need to get Eld back for medical treatment soon though, he’s losing too much blood...I-I’m sorry about Gunther and Oluo.”

Petra glanced at Oluo’s body, heading bowing as tears rolled down her cheeks; turning back to the blonde you pointedly ignored her sniffling, allowing a moment of privacy for her to remember her friends and grieve their loss. You smirked slightly as you cut your cloak knowing Levi would be irritated with the damage; using the strips to quickly redress the man’s leg, your smile turned to a relieved grin as Eld began to stir.

 

~Timeskip~

As everyone paused in the field to let the horses rest a while you walked to the wagon where Eren lay; Eld was still unconscious, but he was stable and Petra was feeling well enough that she insisted on riding her horse, but she stayed close, even taking your place in the wagon as you walked away.

The soldiers spent the break gathering the bodies of their fallen carefully laying them in the wagons. You noticed Levi bent over one of the bodies, a blade in his hand as he cut free the patch on the jacket. That would have been Petra...I wish I have been able to save them too...Sighing you looked back to the wagon to see Mikasa watching over Eren.

Climbing beside the boy you looked him over--although you knew you didn’t need too--then turned back to his sister, “he’ll be fine. He’ll probably even be awake soon.” She said anything, but looked relieved, she even almost smiled. 

Jumping down you walked over the raven-haired man and stood there a moment looking at the number of soldiers lost to the titans before silently turning away again.

“I should thank you…”You paused mid-step at the sound of Levi’s voice, “Petra told me she and Eld would be dead if you hadn’t been there...I--”

“I know,” He glanced at you as you cut him off, “I’m sorry about only saving the two of them.”

Levi looked at you oddly for a moment, almost as if he wanted to say something before shaking his head, “Your voice sounds kind of strained...are you injured?”

You smiled at the man, “Nothing to worry about. Probably just a couple of broken ribs...You?” His eyes widened slightly before narrowing suspiciously, “Easy now...you hide it admirably, but I noticed the slight limp that belies an injured leg.”

“Nothing to worry about,” he mimicked as he stood up with a smirk.

You both turned to look at Erwin as he got reports from the rest of the soldiers who had been collecting the dead. Walking up to the commander you heard the blonde man nearby complaining about leaving the last bodies behind as “missing in action”. Just as the men were talking about how they had grown up together, you and Levi walked up.

“With or without a body the fact remains that he is dead. It changes nothing.” 

Before the other two could reply you spoke up, “That was harsh Levi...true, but still harsh.” You stepped up beside the brunette man, “I know you want to bring him home,Dieter, but they’re right. Doing so would risk lives. There’s a lot of variants out there now...to get the last bodies would be to bring every titan in the area right to us.”

You noticed Levi and Erwin both walk away, apparently content to let you deal with them. Dieter turned to call out to them, but you placed a hand on his shoulder, “Stay with the others…Do not leave or you’ll cause more trouble.”

They won’t listen...I know they won’t… Sure enough as you rode for the wall--staying with the rear flank--you heard the pounding footsteps of titans. Turning to look over your shoulder you saw two titans chasing Dieter and Jurgen. Gritting your teeth you turned your horse back just as Ivan’s body was knocked from Dieter’s horse and Jurgen was grabbed then quickly swallowed. 

Dieter tried to kill the titan, but was snatched mid-air; Mikasa was there a moment later before the giant could eat the blonde. I can’t believe I’m doing this…Racing passed the titan you stopped your horse, leaping from the saddle to grab Ivan.

You saw Levi talking to the soldiers in the wagons with the dead, clearly attempting to get them to listen to reason with titans gaining on them. Racing back you saw the soldiers tossing bodies from the wagon; as the titans finally began to slow you spurred your horse faster.

As the group stopped once again a while later you placed Ivan into the back of a wagon, Dieter looking at you in shock. “I told you to stay,” you glared at him then turned away to check on Eld and Petra. 

Levi watched you as you walked away, probably wondering why I turned back for him...at least now he can keep that patch. 

~Timeskip: Returning to the city~

 

Passing through the gate you could hear the people talking, some whispering--most not bothering too--about the early return and obvious failure of the Survey Corps. Those who spoke loudly enough of their disdain for the soldiers around you were graced with a glare to rival that of Humanity’s Strongest.

You wanted nothing more than to put the people in their place, but knew that even trying would accomplish absolutely nothing--especially since you were an outsider. Sighing you glanced at Eld, surprised to find him awake--although seemingly staring at the sky blankly--but at least he was alive and luckily the bleeding seemed to be slowing down as well.

You saw Levi speaking to Gunther and Oluo’s families, closing your eyes as you heard them begin crying in anguish. Petra noticed and of course understood, “Don’t blame yourself, (f/n). You saved us, but you can’t save everyone.”

“I know that,” you looked around at the faces of the crowd, many in tears--from relief or sadness it was hard to tell--most angry and horrified. “ Something’s wrong though...those titans that followed Dieter, they weren’t variants. They were normal...but they didn’t stop when I was close.”

Petra stared at you then she looked at the soldiers that walked ahead, eyes glazed, “We’ll figure it out. Whatever is going on...we’ll deal with it.”

Why am I even here? I know everything...but I can’t change it all. How am I supposed to know what to change...who to save. Dammit...damn it all to hell.

“I’m going to check on Eren, see if he’s awake yet,” you glanced up the line of soldiers to where Levi rode as a man walked up to him, “hey, Petra...is that your father?”

Petra scanned the crowd for a moment before grinning--in a way that nearly rivaled Hanji--as she dismounted and ran forward to be welcomed home by a man that should have lost her. Slowing your horse you dropped back to see Eld sitting up and looking dazed, but when he noticed you he smiled warmly and nodded. 

“Eld!” You turned to see an older woman in a blue dress staring with tears running down her cheeks. You waved her over and helped her into the wagon to sit with Eld, who now fought tears of his own.

Leaving them to their reunion, you moved further back to find Mikasa sitting beside Eren, “Hey. I know you’re worried about the squad, so I’m glad your up. Eld and Petra are fine...but the others…”

Eren looked at you with one arm thrown across his face, lowering his arm slightly, he was about to say something when he heard a boy calling excitedly about the soldiers return; Eren’s arm pressed into his mouth as he began crying. The rest of the ride into the city was silent except for the crying of soldiers or the families of the dead.

 

~Timeskip--Meeting with Erwin and the other Superiors~

 

“You want me to go into Sina with you?” Erwin nodded, though Levi didn’t look too pleased--but then again when did he ever. “Why?” 

“We believe your particular talent could prove useful.” Erwin spoke as he looked over the letter that a couple of MPs had delivered to him demanding that Eren and the Survey Corps leaders be in the capital in a few days.

“Think about it (f/n), even if your ability doesn’t work on shifters, you’ve become very good with the 3DMG,” Hanji gripped the notebook in her hand tighter before suddenly opening it to jot something down as she started bouncing in place like puppy.

“If you think I can help...then tell me what to do.”

Levi raised a brow at your words, but seemed more remotely impressed than surprised, “First of all, you’ll be in the carriage with me, Erwin. Kirschtein will be disguised as Jeager…”

After they had explained the plan, they left to find the cadets that would have a specific role to play; you, however stayed behind wondering if you could get a message to Raiden. He said he’s always watching...which means if I left him something...he would probably know...maybe. Hopefully.

 

~Timeskip (again) as the plan begins~

 

Erwin placed a hand on your shoulder just after passing through the gate into Sina; nodding slightly, you pulled back the fabric hanging on the small window to see the MPs lined up with rifles on their shoulders. Placing your elbow on the edge, you rested your chin in your hand--for all the world a very bored young cadet being dragged along with the other soldiers to face judgement for the mess that was the 57th expedition. 

Just after you passed Annie, however, you blinked slowly at the figure standing in the alley as Erwin pulled you back and lowered the cloth. Armin would meet with Annie, convince her to guide him, Mikasa, and Eren out of the city...and then all hell would break lose. 

“Did he see you?” You nodded at Levi, who turned startled at the window on the other side of the carriage when someone knocked.

The hell? No one was supposed to do that…

Levi pulled the cloth back to reveal an MP standing with a sheet of paper in one hand, as soon as Levi took it the man turned and ran off. Silently, but with brows raised, the note was handed to you.

In a messy, but recognizable script, on the outside was your name; inside the same script read, ‘(F/n), glad to see you thought of me. I’ve done far more than you think I have, which means I should have ignored your request for help, but...it was you who asked, so I’ll be there when you need me.’

Sighing you looked up to meet three pairs of very curious eyes, “Things might actually go a bit smoother for us...a friend here in the city is willing to help if things go bad.”

Erwin and Levi both tensed, prompting you to quickly explain, “He’s been helping me for a while now. We have a...history, I guess you could say. He won’t tell the MPs anything, though...I’m pretty sure he hates them even more than you guys.”

Levi seemed unconvinced, but Erwin--who was still clearly unsure--decided to trust your judgement and simply dipped his head slightly in acknowledgement. The ride continued for a while longer in silence, the steady footsteps of the soldiers escorting you and the horses pulling the carriage making it easy for your thoughts to run wild.

Suddenly the carriage jerked to a stop at the thunderous crack of lightning as the city was bathed in yellow. The three of you stepped onto the street to see a bunch of nervous MPs, all glancing around wildly.

Yes people...there is a titan in the city...and you useless bunch have no idea how to fight them. Top ten most talented and worthless cadets of every training corps all corrupted beyond redemption… You were almost surprised by the venom in your thoughts, but then again you never did like corrupt people...especially when those very people were supposed to be protecting others. 

Shrugging you watched as Nile sent the escort teams to investigate and Erwin yelled, “Send every soldier we’ve got! We need to consider this a titan appearance.”

Nile turned, “This is Wall Sina! There’s no way a titan could be here!”

Looking over your shoulder you saw a soldier trying to stop Jean from leaving the carriage, “I’m done with this disguise,” Jean shouted as he ripped the wig off, much to the MPs shock, and ran to Erwin. “Commander. I’m coming with you.”

“Grab your gear from Squad 4.” Jean nodded before running off again.

As Nile turned on Erwin angrily a soldier dropped behind him, “Commander. This is for you,” he spoke as he opened a large case with Erwin’s 3DMG inside.

Once Erwin pulled on the gear he began walking ahead of you, “Every soldier who can move, follow me! We’ll rendezvous with the squad assigned to capture the female titan.”

Nile blocked Erwin’s path and every MP in the street aimed their rifles at Commander Handsome, “What you’re doing is treason against the monarchy!”

“Is your brain as thin as the hair on your head? You don’t even get what’s happening, do you?” Levi spoke, his voice as deadpan as ever.

“Take off your gear, Erwin!”

As Erwin stared at Nile, you stepped between the rifle and the Commander, the gun now pointing at your chest with less than a foot of space between it and you. Erwin was just far enough away that he couldn’t pull you out of the way, but the MPs also didn’t have a clear shot at Erwin.

Cocking your head to one side you stared at Nile, “Funny… I thought he was trying to save peoples lives. There is a titan in the city, and you want to waste time standing here arguing? What the hell is the matter with you?”

“(F/n)...back off.”

“No, Erwin...You know as well as I do that I’m not one your soldiers. I follow your lead because I respect you and what you’re doing to save humanity. I will not--” 

You stopped as you noticed an auburn haired man in a Military Police jacket step up to Nile, “lower your rifles.”

“You have no authority here, Captain.”

You raised a brow at the rank used to address who was clearly Raiden--Since when is he an MP?

“I may not, but Zackly does, and he sent me to inform you that he is authorizing the Survey Corps to take responsibility for the titan currently within Wall Sina.” Raiden glanced at you before winking, “Besides, you should be all for it. If Erwin takes command of the situation, and things go to shit, it’s all on his head...right?”

Nile looked between Raiden and Erwin, “You’re right, Gregori. Alright Erwin, do whatever you wish,” he said as he and the other MPs lowered their rifles.

Raiden walked up to Erwin and waited until you joined him to speak, “That could have been ugly, right (f/n)? Anyway...we should over to that crazy woman waiting on the roof tops.”

“Hanji?” Raiden just shrugged as if he could care less--which was probably true, “Well, at least you showed up at a good time.”

“What? Did you think I was going to let you get yourself shot? Which, by the way, reminds me...don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again.”

You raised a brow at the tone, but otherwise ignored him, “We’ll go on ahead and meet up with Hanji. Sorry you can’t help out Levi...hopefully that ankle will heal up quickly so you can get back to what you do best.”

Levi glared at your back as you and Raiden walked away; when no one was watching Raiden followed up to the rooftops, then suddenly once you were a few blocks away you realized that you were alone. Where the hell did he go?

Rolling your eyes you continued, you could see Hanji and the others waiting anyway, but just as you landed on the building with the others you saw Raiden drop down beside you--wearing a Survey Corps jacket now.

“Where did you get that?”

Raiden smirked, “I have jackets and records with all three military branches--though I don’t work with these guys anymore...or well I didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Too dangerous. I...I was one of them once. Years ago...but that doesn’t matter anymore,” he spoke coldly, clearly not wanting to think about it.

You grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop just out of earshot, “So, are you actually going to help this time? Or just run off?”

“You think I would have gone and pulled out this damn jacket--which I haven’t worn in a decade--if I was going to ‘run off’? I’m staying (f/n), it looks like it could be fun.”

“Good…” you glanced at Hanji and the others who still hadn’t noticed you yet, “then do you have a plan? Because we both know what’s going to happen.”

“Actually all I can do is guess,” you looked up at him in shock, I thought we were the same...is that society he’s always talking about led by someone like me then? He smiled before continuing, “but yes, Annie is highly resourceful when she needs to be, so I can imagine that this will go bad.”

“So...a plan?”

“I never use plans, sweetheart, they’re far too unreliable. You never know what will happen and it’s impossible to plan for everything. I just know how I want something to end and do whatever is necessary to that to be accomplished.”

“Great...so we play it by ear. That’s incredibly unuseful.”

Raiden turned to face you, leaning over slightly to be eye level, “You know, I like your smart mouth...so long as it’s not directed at me,” you felt a chill run down your spine at the look in his eyes. “Now then, let’s go play, shall we?” He walked off leaving you frozen in place at the sudden--almost playful--change in demeanor. 

I’m starting to think this guy’s insane...maybe I shouldn’t have asked for his help…

Sighing you walked wide of Raiden to stand beside Hanji, “Erwin and the other’s aren’t far behind.” Scanning the horizon you could see the dust in the air from Eren and Annie’s battle destroying buildings, “They won’t be long either. Is everything ready?”

Hanji smiled at you, “of course! We’ll soon have that titan pinned to the ground...and there aren’t any other titans around to eat her this time!” You watched as her eyes widened, breath quickening, and she started to grin like the mad woman Raiden claimed she was, “We’ll finally see who’s inside! Oh, the experiments I could do! (f/n), this could prove to be the greatest discovery the Survey Corps has ever made!”

You only nodded, turning back to wait for the titans to get here, as Moblit tried to calm Hanji back down. You heard the titan shifters heading your way...their thunderous footsteps broken only by the occasional crash of crumbling buildings. Soon...the final showdown of the titan shifters will begin. Then...things will get really interesting.

You watched as Annie plowed through the soldiers trying to stop her from destroying the city. The only one so far saved from death by her hand was Mikasa...though you did see a few close calls that made you hold your breath in nervousness. Raiden stood beside you, holding onto his “promise” of actually helping this time...at least for now. Hanji stood a few feet away, her head bent so her messy brown hair shadowed her face, but you noticed her whole body was tensed. 

Glancing at Annie a moment you heard Hanji start talking quietly--in what was the creepiest voice you’ve ever heard in your life, “She’s coming...she’s coming,” you watched her start trembling in excitement before looking at Raiden.

“Told you that one was crazy.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” you mumbled under your breath, rolling your eyes.

Just as Annie passed by Hanji and your small group the traps were fired, launching hundreds of wires through the titan. Annie was forced to stop moving as she fell to the ground with the cables hindering her movement. After the net was dropped over her body Hanji stepped off the roof to walk up to Annie with you close behind her.

“Be a good girl and behave yourself,” Hanji spoke in a slightly-less-creepy-but-not-really kind of way that still made you glad that she spoke to someone other than you.

The woman shoved her blade into the titan’s face, stopping just short of piercing her eye, “Unlike last time, there aren’t any titans to come eat you. But I’ll do it instead...I’ll devour all the information I can dig out of you.”

You jumped forward to pull Hanji away and up to a roof just as Annie swept her leg free of the net and wires. Soldiers fled to the safety of the rooftops as Annie began running down the street; everyone moved after a split second hesitation, chasing the titan down while dodging rubble tossed into the air behind the figure.

You saw Mikasa get tripped up by Annie and tossed to the ground a moment later; you had time to see her attempt to stay on her feet before rolling to a stop just as a brilliant flash of yellow lit the sky.

“Raiden...how much of this can we alter?”

The auburn-haired man looked over the roofs as you stood apart from the rest of the soldiers, “Not all that much. We’re limited...even the smallest change makes a ripple that affects everything following...and not always in a good way.”

“I know that.”

“Then why did you ask?” 

You ignored him a moment as you watched Annie standing at the end of the street in front of a building just as Eren began charging down that same road. Just as Annie turned you saw her eyes widen in surprise before Eren’s fist connected to her face sending her straight into the church behind her.

“It doesn’t matter...she’ll be heading for flat land where she can fight better and the soldiers won’t be able to interfere. Let’s get ahead of her know so we can act if we get the chance.”

You led Raiden to the same clearing that you knew the titan’s would be racing for now, smirking when you heard the footsteps heading your way. The two of you stood watching as the titans neared the flat land, soldiers racing to catch up; you knew no one would look twice as you simply observed the fight. You weren’t trained to fight and Raiden wouldn’t since he just wasn’t all that worried--which was made abundantly clear when he leaned against a chimney yawning.

Annie and Eren mirrored each other as they stood several feet apart with their arms raised to cover their faces, neither moving for a few tense minutes. With a sudden roar Eren swung at Annie only to have half of his arm destroyed after colliding with Annie’s crystallized elbow. The female tried to kick Eren with a protected leg only to have it get caught and used to throw her across a rooftop and into the building on the other side. Annie waits as Eren plows through the building trying to land a blow to Annie when suddenly she isn’t there anymore.

Her leg lashes out to connect with his own--tearing it off at the knee in the process; using his momentum he lands a punch to her arms as they cover her head, forcing her backwards a few feet before Eren collapses onto his hands and remaining knee. Annie uses her still crystallized leg to strike at the rogue, but ends up caught between his teeth so she starts slamming her fists into his head over and over again until finally breaking free and running off, leaving a motionless Eren on the ground.

“Where the hell is she going?”

You looked at Raiden before glancing at Hanji, Armin, and Jean over his shoulder, “She’ll try for the wall. It’s her only option at this point.”

“(F/n)’s right,” Armin spoke turning to follow Annie’s movement with bright blue eyes, “If she gets over the wall we can’t follow her right away...and even if we could she would just call more titans like last time.”

You noticed Jean eyeing Raiden oddly before you spoke again, “Eren will be up and moving again in a minute...he just--”

You stopped when Eren suddenly moved, his body covered in lines that made it seem like he was on fire. Leaping after the female titan in an odd jumping-crawl he caught up to her just as she was nearing the wall with you and the other soldiers following on their heels. Eren landed on top of Annie and reaching around her shoulder to grip her face with one hand looking like he was trying to crush her head. After a deafening scream from Annie and a rage-filled roar from Eren, he’s suddenly thrown off as the she quickly gets to her feet and begins climbing the wall. 

Before anyone can react, you jump off the roof with Raiden right beside you; leaving Raiden to deal with Annie you land on Eren’s shoulder slamming a blade into his shoulder to distract him. You see Mikasa move to join Raiden just as he is suddenly slammed into the wall and barely able to catch himself in time to prevent falling to his death.

Leaving Eren behind you watch Mikasa cut through the titan’s fingers sending her crashing to the ground. As you reach Raiden--who you notice is clutching his left side with a slight grimace--Eren lands on Annie’s back and makes quick work of ripping her head off. Peeling back the flesh from the nape Eren pauses a moment as he looks at Annie before pulling back suddenly when she begins to crystallize herself with Eren in danger of being permanently attached to her.

Raiden steps forward to stop them when you hold him back and point to a small figure dropping onto Eren’s nape and slicing through to reveal the brunette.

You smile as you can just make out Levi’s words, “Don’t devour our precious witness, you moron.”

~~

You push Raiden over to a large boulder from the fight and force him to sit as you turn to look at the others. Most were circled around Annie’s new crystal cage, while Armin and Mikasa sat on either side of Eren--who seemed unconscious with red burn-like markings on his face.

You place a hand on Armin’s shoulder and nod to Eren, “He’s overheated...he’ll be alright with plenty of rest.” The two teenagers gave you strange look until Eren woke up and they turned their attention to making sure he really was alright.

“Wake up! After all this you decide to sleep. Annie!” You turned to see Jean yelling at the shifter while striking the crystal in a vain attempt at breaking it open, “Come out of there so we can settle this!”

As you headed over to the caged titan-shifter Levi fell into step beside you. Levi didn’t so much as a glance up at you as he spoke, “You don’t seemed surprised.”

“Not really...I prefer to keep an open mind, especially when it comes to titans.”

Levi nods slightly before placing a hand on Jean’s shoulder just as he was going to strike again, “Stop it. It won’t do any good.”

Jean dropped his arm in defeat as you rested your arm around his shoulders in silent comfort. Motioning Marco to come over and take your place you looked at Annie “sleeping” peacefully.

Hanji walked up behind you before calling out, “Make with the wire nets. We’ll tie her up and take her undergound.”

Glancing over your shoulder you shook your head, not at all surprised to see that Raiden was gone, before you followed Levi.

“Things will be ugly from now on,” you muttered as you looked at Erwin, who stood ahead of you with the Military Police in handcuffs.

“Can’t get much worse than it already is, (f/n). You have seen some of the titans, right?”

Did...did he just try to make a joke?

Smirking you looked down at the short raven man beside you, “Fair enough...I really hate those MP pigs.”

You were pretty sure you heard Levi chuckle quietly before the two of you walked by Erwin pausing just behind his line of sight as Levi spoke, “I don’t think we can call this a success.”

Erwin never even blinked, “No, we managed to keep the Survey Corps even if it was by the skin of our teeth.”

“I hope we’re so lucky.”

Looking Nile right in the eye you smiled, “Don’t worry. They may very well name a new Commander...but that won’t change a thing. Right, Gregori?” You added as you cast your eyes to the auburn MP captain.

Raiden, of course, didn’t answer and only glared at you. Laughing you waved at him and the other MPs, “I wonder just how many of you knew about the titans that make up the walls…”

Levi and Erwin turned shocked faces to you at that, but you just looked back at the wall and the holes left there from Annie’s hands. Shrugging you walked away from everyone leaving them to decide whatever they will about you. I kind of hope they get some crazy idea in their heads...that would be too much fun to play on!!


	6. Ruins and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long as hell wait guys! Can’t believe it’s almost been a year since the last update! *fanfic author razzie award winner here lol*

 

You were walking down a small alley when you saw the man stepping from the shadows ahead of you. Waiting for him, you stopped with one hip jutted out, your foot tapping slowly.

“Things have gone horribly wrong outside the walls,” Raiden spoke as he walked over to stand in front of you. “It’s going to be getting ugly.”

You chuckled as you began walking again, Raiden falling into step to your right, “I said the exact same thing to Levi a minute ago...he joked about it.”

“Hm...I got a message from one of my men.”

Raiden handed you a scrap of paper, _‘Titans in Rose. Ape escaped. Z lives.’_

“Z...Zacharius? As in Mike? You had someone save him?”

“I’ve had a man shadowing both him and Nanaba for a few days now. You’re not the only one that gets orders, you know?” Raiden paused a moment before adding, “And stop talking to Ackerman...you’re not here to make friends.”

You smirked at him, “Careful...you almost sounded jealous there.” You glanced at him just in time to see the flash of coldness in his eyes.

“Your new orders are to accompany the cadets and Zoe to the wall. Do not act recklessly, but ensure they overlook nothing and make certain that no one suspects you of knowing more than you should.”

“Yeah, yeah...you do know Levi will be there too, right?” You stressed the man’s name slightly just to irk Raiden...and it worked all too perfectly.

He turned suddenly, pinning you against the wall, “I told you...you’re mine, no one else can have you.”

His eyes stared into your own with the same coldness as earlier making a shiver run up your spine. When you remained silent he narrowed his eyes at you, “Do you like him? That midget corporal?”

“Huh? What’s it matter to you?”

His grip tightened as he glared before turning abruptly pulling you along as he walked back towards the wall and the soldiers milling around. Once you reached the end of the alley he stopped to push you in front of him and out into the open space behind the Military Police.

“Do nothing when Jeager is fighting. You are to observe only. I’ll take care of anything else that comes up,” Raiden spat, face and voice seeming empty of all emotion. “Go to that madwoman on the wall. Stay with her for the time being.”

You watched as the auburn-haired man walked away, noticing the tense shoulders and clenched fists. _He’s mad? Because he thinks I like Levi?_ You sighed as you began heading for the wall, _I don’t get that guy sometimes._

Glancing up to the small group atop the wall you saw two figures standing dangerously close to the edge. Using your 3DMG you quickly reached the top of the wall just as Hanji swung Pastor Nick nearly off and into the air. You put an arm out in front of Moblit when he tried to run forward.

“Stay back. Enough of this! Do you people know why we Scouts have shed so much blood? To take back our freedom from the titans! I was willing to sacrifice my own life for that cause. I’m not asking you to talk; I’m ordering you. Is that clear?” 

You step forward, “Hanji. You’ve made your point. You know as well as I do that he would rather die than tell any of us the truth. This will get you nowhere.”

Nick kept his grip on the squad leader as he spoke, “Kill me and learn. We will fulfill our duty without fail. So,” Nick spread his arms, forcing Hanji to take his weight, “let go of me this instant!”

Hanji threw Nick behind her and safely onto the wall among the other soldiers, “Just kidding. I wasn’t serious. Tell me, Pastor Nick, are all the walls made of titans?”

Moblit stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder, “Squad Leader?”

Hanji trembled slightly as she spoke again, “I forgot how this feels. I haven’t felt this way since my first time outside the walls. Talk about terrifying.”

 

**~Timeskip: Where Erwin hears about the titans and sends out the rescue team~**

You sat arefully against the front of the wagon between the benches as Hanji and Levi walked up with Nick in tow. Through the pain of still healing ribs, you smiled slightly as Mikasa fussed over Eren’s cloak. 

“Sorry to keep ya. Took longer to prepare than we thought,” Hanji waved cheerily.

“Still not talking , huh Nick?” You spoke quietly as Levi sat with his arms crossed in agitation. You could hear Armin and Hanji talking as you waited for the Scouts to begin moving.

A few minutes later, the army well underway to Ehrmich, Eren’s voice jolted you back from your thoughts.

“He knew? There’s titans inside the walls and he’s known about it!”

“Yes, though he’s kept his mouth shut this entire time. But now he’s coming with us to witness the harsh reality. Will his beliefs be strong enough for him to stay silent? Or will seeing it with his own eyes make him question himself?”

You glanced at Eren as he stood angrily, “no, no, no. This is all backwards! If there’s something you know, tell us about it! Nothing’s more important than keeping humans from going extinct!” 

As Eren clutched his head and Mikasa pulled him down, you faced Levi as he pressed a gun to Nick’s side, “There’s more than one way to get answers.”

“Now, now Levi...no need to go all thug on the man,” you teased.

“Shut up. I may be injured useless right now, but it doesn’t take much to watch one man,” his eyes seem to darken as he continued, “I’m hoping we can settle this without blasting a hole in anyone. Aren’t you?”

“Threatening him doesn’t work, Levi. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

You smiled at Hanji, despite the shiver that ran down your spine at the idea of what creative means of threatening a priest the woman might have tried using. 

“It’s got to have you wondering though, right? If there really is a reason to keep so quiet? Something more important than humanity’s pending extinction?”

The cadets looked troubled by the idea, but Hanji appeared excited that you had the same thought as her. Not long after the young soldiers calmed down, Levi leaned forward to look at Hanji.

“Are your hobbies so boring that playing with rocks is somehow fun for you?”

“Yeah, that’s right.But this is no ordinary rock...it’s a hardened fragment of skin left behind by the female titan.”

Levi seemed almost grossed out by her carrying titan skin around--hardened or not--while the cadets reacted as expected. Eren puzzled, Mikasa blank, and Armin clearly excited as he leaned forward along with Hanji.

“It didn’t disappear?” The blonde asked.

“Right! Annie reverted from a titan, but it’s still intact even though it broke off her body. It didn’t evaporate. When I compared it to the wall, the pattern and composition were practically identical. In other words, the wall is a barricade of Colossal-type titans. Which means the surface is actually hardened titan skin.”

Pastor Nick hung his head at Hanji’s words--his only outward sign that the brunette was right and that he had known. 

Mikasa seemed surprised as she widened her eyes, “That’s exactly what Armin said.”

Before Armin could say anything Hanji slammed a hand over his mouth, but to keep Hanji from getting everyone excited you spoke, “Let me finish, Armin. It will be hard to fill the hole in Wall Rose, unless we can find the perfect boulder. know what you’re thinking, But if Eren, as a titan, could use the same hardening ability to seal the hole...”

Hanji stopped speaking, leaving the others to consider her words. Eren seemed uncomfortable with the idea though, his eyes wide, “Use me to seal the wall?”

“It should be the same material. Since this piece won’t evaporate, it’s possible.”

Armin glanced down to the wagon floor at Hanji’s words, “I think it’s worth the risk. Assuming it really works, reclaiming Wall Maria is feasible too. Normally we have to rely on outposts, with no need to accommodate supply wagons we could quickly make our way to Shiganshina. We could carry out the plan at night, when the titans can’t move.”

Hanji considered this, a finger held to her chin, “a small enough group could sneak in to reclaim the wall. As bad as this situation is, we still have a glimmer of hope.”

“But, it all depends on whether Eren can seal the hole or not.”

You spoke slowly, “Even if we assume Eren can fossilize like Annie--and there’s nothing to suggest that all shifters share the same traits--he may not be able to learn it before we reach the breach.” Levi glanced at you with an odd look in his eyes at those words, but Hanji spoke again.

“I realize asking is hardly fair, but can you do it?” Hanji asked, an almost desperate pleading edge creeping into her voice. 

Eren stared in surprise, then Levi spoke, “It doesn’t matter what you think. Do it,” Levi said staring at Eren, “You have to. There’s no choice. We’re out of options.”

“Way to not put any pressure on the kid…”

“It’s alright, (f/n). I’ll do whatever it takes to seal the wall!”

As Eren continued speaking you were interrupted by a messenger arriving behind Mikasa to pass a letter to you. Ignoring the others--including Levi as he once again stared almost suspiciously--you read the note: ‘Raiden sent me. Waiting in Ehrmich for orders.’

You didn’t recognize the writing, but it had to have been from one of Raiden’s men. To avoid Levi’s inevitable question you turned to the others, “This is Ehrmich District, right? I should have someone waiting here to help us.”

“Good, I guess,” Levi said.

It was several minutes later when Hanji turned to see Levi and Nick walking into the room. She ran up to them, “Have you had a change of heart yet?”

When the man didn’t speak for a moment Hanji snapped, “We don’t have time for this! Make up your mind already if you’re going to talk or not!”

“I cannot tell you anything, and I doubt the others will change their minds,” he said staring at the ground.

“Well, thank you! That helped tons! We’re so grateful for all the help you’ve been!” Hanji turned away angrily, her jaws clenched painfully.

You walked over to Nick and touched his shoulder, “You know someone else that knows, don’t you? I know the look of a man trying to decide how to help without breaking a vow...who? Who else knows?”

Pastor Nick kept his head bowed, “The Order of the Walls must adhere to the sacred will...we can only entrust the wall’s secrets to certain blood relatives. However, I will give you a name of someone we were instructed to monitor. That person joined the Scout Regiment as of this year. Their name is...”

Suddenly, Sasha burst into the room, “104th Cadet Corps, Sasha Braus!” She marched up behind Hanji. 

Turning from the pastor you walked to the back of the stables where you found a blonde middle-aged man watching you. As soon as you got within a few feet he glanced around before bowing slightly, “(f/n), right? Raiden said you’d be around right ‘bout now.”

“Head to Castle Utgard, you should see a petite blonde girl named Christa. She’ll have a brunette girl hovering around her. Keep her alive at any cost. Oh, and don’t attack the brunette when she shifts, either.”

The man raised a brow at the last part, but simply nodded before bowing again and walking off to a horse just as Hanji stepped up to you.

“You ready to move out, (f/n)?” Hanji asked, “We’re heading Southwest. Don’t know what’s going on there, but we can use the tower of an old castle to survey the area.”

_To Utgard then...and the titans._

 

It was quite some time later, well after dawn, that you arrived just in time to see Ymir getting eaten amid the debris from the fallen tower and a titan reaching out for Christa. Glancing around you saw the man you had ordered earlier flying through the air and slicing the titan’s nape before the giant’s hand could wrap around the blonde.

A moment later a wide-eyed group of cadets stared in wonder as Mikasa landed in front of them, “Christa...all of you, get back. We’ve got this. Leave the rest to us.”

Running up beside the cadets you smiled at them, “Well...talk about good timing, huh?”

“(f/n),” you turned to face the blonde haired man as he walked up to you with Nanaba slung over his shoulder, “She’s got a broken arm, but she’ll live.”

“I thought someone else was assigned to her?”

“He died in the tower’s collapse by the look of him...you want me to help out with these guys?”

You glanced over your shoulder at the soldiers who were making quick work of the titans now that they were unmoving with you around, “Nah, get her arm cleaned up then report back to Raiden.”

The man bowed awkwardly under Nanaba’s weight then headed off to get the woman looked after. You watched as Eren--who was supposed to stay out of the fight--decided to take on a titan that was just out of your abilities reach. While he celebrated his first kill as a human his 3DMG wires crossed and he was driven to the ground to be saved yet again.

Shaking your head you called out, “Eren! Get over here before you do something else stupid!”

After the titans were all killed the soldiers gathered around to survey the damage and look for anyone that might have been hurt. The cadets circled Ymir as Christa and Hanji knelt on either side of her.

“It can’t be...Ymir is...” Armin said as he stood with the other cadets.

“Yeah...I doubt that will the biggest surprise of the day.”

As soon as Ymir opened her eyes Christa spoke, “My real name is...Historia.”

Ymir smiled before slipping back to unconsciousness.

You looked up at the brightening sky, memories of what was coming filling your mind. _Now the real fun part begins...I certainly hope you guys are ready._


	7. Betrayal and Uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look guys...a new chapter!!! ^^
> 
> Things will get more interesting in the next update (which will be posted much sooner, I promise.)
> 
> Two things: Who else is excited about Season 3 starting in July? And what do you think Reader will decide to do next?

As soon as Ymir opened her eyes Christa spoke, “My real name is...Historia.”

Ymir smiled before slipping back to unconsciousness.

You looked up at the brightening sky, memories of what was coming filling your mind. _Now the real fun part begins...I certainly hope you guys are ready._

You walked up the edge of the wall joining Eren as Ymir was pulled to the top while another soldier spoke, “Her right arm and leg are bitten off, and her insides are more like scrambled egg than anything...a normal person would’ve been long dead by now.”

“Phew,” Reiner struggled to pull himself to atop the wall. 

“Oh Reiner, grab my hand,” You eyed the blonde as Eren pulled him up before turning away to find Hanji. 

The brunette stared at Christa as you joined them, “...loyalty to us as comrades! I know that her actions to that point are inexcusable...she withheld information of vital importance to mankind. I suppose till then she was concerned only about herself...but she has changed.”

You stopped just behind the blonde interrupting her, “she’s not all that changed...sure she fought the titans...but Ymir will always be Ymir. She’ll do what she thinks is right for herself and for you. For now that does probably means agreeing to fight for the Survey Corps.”

“I see,” Hanji spoke carefully, “well...don’t get me wrong...I’d rather be friends with her if possible. Regardless of what she’s done, the information she can provide is treasure to humankind.”

You nodded to Christa with a smile, “So, should I start calling you Historia, now?”

Christa laughed quietly, “Only if you want to.”

Hanji clapped a hand on her shoulder suddenly, “Nice to meet you Historia!”

You turned away and looked over the open land. You thought back to your home where you watched the anime, one of the few times you tried to remember the life you used to have. You remembered the titans taking off with Eren and Ymir. You also remembered Raiden’s orders, “observe Eren’s fight”. Watch them take them away. Watch Eren lose. Then what? 

You glanced over your shoulder at Eren and saw Reiner sitting behind him hiding his face in shame. You watched Armin lean over to talk to him while Bertholdt stood on Reiner’s other side staring at the ground with a distant look in his eyes. You turned away again as soon as you saw Bertholdt straighten in excitement, his voice raising as he talked about going home.

You sighed, _“a few more seconds…”_

Hannes’ voice barely pulled your attention from the distant trees. You barely heard the shocked exclamations from the soldiers when Hannes explained there was no breach. Your mind continued wondering, trying to figure out what to do once Reiner and Bertholdt made their move. Whoever it was that called themselves the Society didn’t pass any orders to you through Raiden, so you were left to assume the decision was yours to make. But what should you do after they leave that wouldn’t give away you knowing more than you should?

“Eren run!” 

You turned in time to see Mikasa get shoved off the wall by Reiner. Armin yelled for Eren to run as well as you stared. You used your gear to drop just off the edge of the wall a moment before Bertholdt and Reiner shifted. Hot wind and steam flew over your head as you stood along the wall as your feet started to slide backwards along the wall from the force of the steam. 

The armored titan dropped down from the wall with Eren in hand a few meters from you. Eyes closing in annoyance and defeat, you fought to stay in place. Yellow light filled your vision suddenly as Eren’s titan form dropped to the ground. Looking up you saw the colossal titan’s arm above you, _so I’m between the colossal and the soldiers...and I still don’t know what to do!_

Your fists clenched in anger as you watched the two titans fight below you. Mikasa went for the trees near them to help Eren when she had an opening. You knew she wouldn’t be much help, but you dropped to the trees as well so maybe you could get a chance to keep her from getting hurt as bad as she was originally going to.

As soon as you stood on a branch near a treetop, the colossal titan swept an arm across the wall, forcing the soldiers to vertical wall face. You could see Bertholdt’s hand wrap around Ymir and another soldier before tossing both into his mouth.  As soon as Hanji ordered the team to attack the nape, steam erupted from the titan’s body. 

You ignored the colossal titan and the men atop the wall as you focused on the two titans ahead of you. Eren was already lying on the ground by the time you looked back at him. Steam rose from his body as he tried to heal the wounds from Reiner’s attack. Movement caught your eye as Mikasa broke her blades as she tried to stop Reiner from reaching Eren. 

Eren rose suddenly and struck Reiner’s jaw with his fist...and was quickly launched into the air backwards again as Reiner struck back. A moment later, you watched Eren stand again, and prove that Annie’s harsh training worked afterall. Eren stood yet again, but this time he seemed more confident. 

Tricking Reiner into thinking he was trying the same useless attack again, Eren ducked below the punch and wrapped his arms around Reiner’s striking arm and neck as he lifted the armored titan off the ground. Eren sat on Reiner’s chest, pinning his arms down so he couldn’t fight back. As Eren punched him, though, Reiner’s free arm reached up to Eren’s ribcage and rolled the two titans over. 

You couldn’t help the smile that formed as Eren’s hands closed around Reiner’s wrist and his  legs wrapped around the neck again, his ankle tucked behind his bent knee to trap Reiner in a submission hold. As Eren held on, the armor on Reiner’s shoulder began to crack, until it finally ripped free at the elbow.

Luckily, no one had noticed the lack of you along the wall as cringed at the idea of having to sit idly by as Eren was about to lose to the two people he least expected to betray him. _Reiner will have him pinned again soon. And then Reiner will bait into place beneath Bertholdt so the colossal will drop on top of them and give them the opening they need to make their escape._

You narrowed your eyes as Reiner’s neck began to tear free. Eren strained with the effort as Reiner started pushing them along the ground. Then the roar...and Bertholdt’s titan body tumbled from the wall face first to the ground. 

_I’m out of time...I have to decide. This is the end of the fight I was ordered to stay out of. Now it’s up to me._

Mikasa was tossed into the air forcing you into motion. Your wires flew through the air pulling along behind them after the raven haired girl. You caught her just in time to break most of her landing. Pain shot through your chest as your still healing ribs hit the ground, and by the feel of it a few more ribs broke with the force too. Mikasa’s head collided into your jaw and shoulder as you landed in a tangled heap among the rocks. You began to sit up and realized that your left arm was dislocated and bleeding from a large cut along the forearm. 

You glanced up in time to see Reiner take off running with Bertholdt sitting on his shoulder with Ymir in his grasp. Between the injuries and Reiner’s speed, you stood no chance of keeping up, so you embraced the darkness that began to creep into your vision. _When I wake up...I’ll figure out how to help the Scouts and Eren. Until then...sleep sounds amazing._


	8. Chase and Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Survey Corps try to get Eren back!   
> Does Reader manage to save them?  
> Does Reader's sassy/sarcastic personality make an appearance  (why...yes...it does actually^^)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got this finished earlier than expected, so enjoy the early update guys!

You groaned as you slowly woke to blinding sunlight. Footsteps pulled your attention to the left to see Mikasa and Armin leaning over you in worry. You noticed Mikasa’s tear filled eyes as she hid behind her scarf, Armin seemingly near tears himself. You started to sit upright and Armin jumped forward pushing lightly on your shoulder to keep you still.

“You shouldn’t move yet. You and Mikasa landed hard, but it seems like you caught the worst of it.”

“I noticed...hurts like hell,” you glanced down to see your left arm bandaged, the wrappings just beginning to turn red in the center as you moved around. You slowly raised the same arm, hoping someone had set it again, sighing in mild relief when you were able to lift it a few inches before the pain made you freeze.

You grimaced, reaching out a hand towards Armin in silent plea to help you sit up anyway. The blonde hesitated then a hand gripped yours, slowly pulling you up. Mikasa looked slightly impressed as she helped you as if she was waiting for you just sit around and do nothing. Finally, Armin decided not to fight either of you as he reached out as well to wrap an arm around around your back to offer support. 

Hanji and the other senior soldiers laid still along the wall, leaving the rest to wait in uncertainty. The cadets looked up suddenly at the sound of hooves on stone. You turned slowly to watch Erwin lead a large group of soldiers. Ignoring the cadets talking behind you, you forced yourself to stand despite the trembling muscles that almost made you sit back down. 

You walked to Erwin in time to see Hanji wake and drag herself to the Commander. You smiled at her as she asked for a map.

“There’s a forest of giant trees here, although pretty small,” she pointed to the map as everyone crowded around her. “That’s where you should head to... I doubt the armored titan would bother covering his tracks in any case...still there’s a very good chance they’re heading there.”

Hanji seemed to get a little more energy as she spoke, “It’s a gamble but, even if they have the power of their titan form, they’re still in danger from other titans outside the wall. After all the fighting they had to do, they must be pretty exhausted-not as much as Eren, but still...it seems that even Annie had slept for a long time after her rampage.”

You looked up at Erwin, “if the forest is their destination, then they’ll probably be waiting there until nightfall when it’ll be safer to travel. If we can get there before sunset, we might be able to catch up with them to rescue Eren.”

You failed to notice that you had only said one name or the look Christa shot your way when you didn’t mention Ymir. 

**Time Skip: gotta wait while we move the horses to the other side of the wall afterall**

Soon after, you lived in constant agony with a permanent grimace as your horse raced forward along with the soldiers. Sometimes you wondered why you were so stubborn...and why it seems to have gotten worse in this world. Looking back, you almost smiled at how nervous the Military Police seemed as they realized how close they were to the titans gathered at the edge of the forest. 

The sudden flash of yellow light snapped your attention back to the forest. _Ymir..._

“We can assume it’s the light from titan transformation! Everyone split up! Find Eren and take him back, we can assume the enemies have already transformed! Battle is not the priority. No matter what, retrieval must be prioritized!”

The titans began grabbing soldiers, mostly MPs, from their horses, while the rest of your group charged forward until they could switch to the 3DMG. You took a deep breath, knowing how much you would regret this later, and left your horse behind as you took to the trees.

Surprisingly, the wounds didn’t hurt as much as you had expected, although that could have been from the growing sense of numbness. You couldn’t move as fast as the others, your reactions just a bit too slow to keep up. Knowing where they would end up though gave you an advantage as you went around Ymir and the former cadets who would be talking to her now. Instead, you kept moving, hoping to reach the other side, where Reiner and Bertholdt were waiting with Eren, in time. 

You could hear Ymir’s nails clawing the trees behind you as she raced for the same spot you were. Forcing yourself to keep moving proved increasingly difficult as the injuries began to slow you even more, hands fumbling the grip on your gear, almost making you fall more than once. Suddenly, Ymir swung past you as your left arm went limp just as you were about to release the wire, the remaining 3DMG wire jerking you to the right, away from Reiner’s armored titan form. 

Managing to perch atop a branch on the forest edge, you watched the titan shifter sprint away, the soldiers following Erwin in horseback pursuit yet again. Movement caught your eye as a titan stepped into view on your right, its large eyes watching you as if waiting for orders. 

_I need to follow them...I can’t wait for a horse that’s no where in sight…_

The titan stepped forward so it stood just beside the branch, close enough to step onto. It tilted its back, looking at you again curiously. 

Sighing, you spoke to the titan, half questioning your own sanity, “I really don’t need your shit right now.”

The titan lowered its head again and turned slightly before ducking its head to walk under the tree branch and head into the forest. _Wait...it’s leaving?_

The army were quickly becoming tiny black specks of movement as they raced after Reiner. You knew you didn’t have time to wait anymore, you’d already wasted too much. Glancing at the titan that was still slowly walking away you noticed that it looked like a variant...one that appeared to be capable of moving quickly. 

Groaning you were glad no one was within hearing distance of you, just in case this didn’t work, “Hey...come back here.” The titan froze mid-step, head turning slightly, as if looking over its shoulder, “yeah, you...get over here already.” 

Surprisingly it did...walking right up to the branch, even allowing you to drop onto its shoulder and use your good arm to grip a fistfull of hair to keep you steady, “You see that big ass titan running away? Catch up to--”

Before you could even finish the sentence, the titan started sprinting forward. It raced towards Reiner with long strides that made quick work of the distance between the forest and the army. You focused on the titans, watching them as some stopped moving, some slowed down, and others actually started following you. _Hanji would love to see this...too bad she’s missing everything_

The titans followed you as you neared the army, making sure to keep them to the side so you didn’t have to worry about your titan stepping on anyone. 

Running past the army, you heard Erwin shouting, “..fighting admirably! Fulfill your duties as soldiers. The armored titan is…”

His words drifted away as he noticed your titan running forward, not even glancing at the soldiers it passed. His eyes widened in shock as they fell on you standing on its shoulder, “(F/n)?!”

“Not a bad idea! Get them ahead of Reiner. I’ll try to slow him down!”

Ignoring Erwin’s shout, you stared straight ahead, knowing that you would be the first one to reach Reiner. A few minutes later, your titan was within arms reach of Ymir.

“...Christa, please...help me!”

“I told you didn’t I, Ymir...no matter what...I’m on your side.”

“Touching...really. But now’s not the time for this!” Christa’s eyes widened as Bertholdt and Ymir turned to face you, both with equally amusing looks of shock of their faces. A second later, Eren slowly woke up, his eyes locking on your titan before shifting to focus on you instead. “Nice day for a run, isn’t it?” you asked Eren. 

_What the hell am I saying?_

You shook your head, blaming the still increasing pain on the oddity of your words. Your left arm still hung uselessly at your side, the numbness slowly spreading to your chest. “You’ll have to forgive me if I seem a bit impatient. Not really sure how long I can keep this guy following my lead, you know?” 

“(F/n)...what are you doing here?” Bertholdt kept glancing between you and the titan, fear creeping into his eyes. 

“Fighting to stay conscious and in control of a titan while I get a friend back. Seems you guys forgot where he belongs. Need me to remind you?” 

“We can’t let you take him! We have--”

“Wrong! You’re not going to get much further with him...even without me here. You really think Mikasa and Erwin would let you get away?” You laughed, in a way that seemed to make the brunette even more scared, “Give him up before I take him from you.”

Ymir looked at you, a laugh of her own bubbling up, “You can’t control titan shifters, (f/n). What are you going to do?”

As she spoke, your head slowly tilted to the side, as if she had said something particularly confusing, “Who said anything about me controlling shifters?”

You smiled as you focused on the titans around you. A small part of you wasn’t sure if this would actually work, but you refused to let that stop you. _Even if it does fail, I can say it was distraction until Mikasa reaches us._

Each titan appeared in your mind like a small blip on radar, each one feeling distinctly different in your mind. You forced your mind to focus on one, a smaller one just short of 10m, and ordered it to jump onto Reiner. A moment later, Reiner’s titan form stumbled as the titan grabbed onto his knee, its teeth sinking into the flesh between the armor plates on the back of his leg. 

The pain increased suddenly, the numbness edging into your leg, but you refused to let your mind wonder. Concentrating on the titans around you, you glanced behind you, seeing the army catching up, knowing any minute now, Hannes and Mikasa would make their move. 

Reiner missed a step again as another titan latched onto his other leg, slowing him down even more as it became harder for him to move. “Can’t believe this is actually working,” you mumbled.

Suddenly, Mikasa appeared going straight for Eren as Ymir was focused on you. You kept calling titans in to slow Reiner, a small part of you aware that hadn’t seen Hannes yet. The blonde shifter, though, kept kicking the titans off as he ran, annoying you to no end.

“Reiner! Protect us!” Bertholdt yelled as Mikasa flew straight for him, murder clear in her eyes.

Reiner’s hand came up just in time to cover the boys as Mikasa struck. She glared at Bertholdt a moment before pushing off and focusing on Ymir.

As you continued focusing on the titans, you had noticed a growing awareness of the two shifters. Despite feeling immensely different, you could still sense them the same way you could the others. You knew you needed to get Christa out of danger as the other titans began catching up to the army. Your grip began to slacken as you concentrated on Ymir. 

_Let’s see if this works…hope you’re ready..._ You felt a slight tugging sensation, as if part of you was becoming Ymir, _Let go...stay out of this._

Ymir stared at her hands as they released their hold on Reiner; the girl looking beyond confused as her titan form suddenly dropped to the ground. Jean, Connie, and Armin swung onto Reiner’s shoulders a moment later, circling the crossed wrists. Your titan steed ran alongside Reiner as another, larger titan’s weight around one leg forced the boy to slow even more. 

“Bertholdt, give him back!” Mikasa looked enraged and panicked.

“It’s a lie, isn’t it, Bertholdt? Reiner? Were you fooling us all along up until now? That’s...cruel…” Connie seemed frantic and confused.

“You guys won’t get far...I told you that already. Stop this...before you both get hurt.” The soldiers looked at you a moment before nodding to Bertholdt, hoping he would listen to me.

Jean decided to try a different tactic, “C’mon you guys...aren’t we comrades that shared hardships under a single roof together? Bertholdt, it was so artistic how terrible you looked when you were asleep. At some point everyone started to look forward to your next masterpiece. We’d even predict the weather for the day that way. But.. you...you sure slept soundly, didn’t you? Considering you were a perpetrator among your victims.”

“Was it all a lie? When we all pledged to survive...when we said that we’d all live to become old men, and drink together...all of that...was it all a lie? What have you been thinking up until now?!” 

“There’s no need to know that,” Mikasa practically growled, “Just concentrate on cutting their necks. If you hesitate for even a moment, we won’t be able to get Eren back. They are a plague upon humankind, and that is enough.”

“Who do you think actually wants to kill people?! Who likes doing something like this?! Who do you think wants to do this?!” 

_Raiden...probably_ You almost chuckled at your thoughts. “You’re right, Bertholdt...people don’t normally want to do the things you’ve done. So, I’ll forgive you for the Wall. You were young...forced to do something awful by people you trusted. But guess what, you became someone people trusted. Look around...everyone here trusted you, and you betrayed them! No matter what you did before entering the walls, you could have changed once you entered training. If you really hated what you did, you would have turned your backs on them, given yourself to the Survey Corps completely. Instead, here we are! Dealing with the shitty mess you made!”

Everyone was silent, surprised at how you spoke or waiting for Bertholdt’s reaction, you were unsure. And honestly, you didn’t really care. Your vision was slowly becoming fuzzy, almost seeming to bleed away the colors. 

“It’s true that we deceived everyone, but not everything was a lie! I really did think of us as comrades. We have no way to apologize...but...please...somebody, please find us...”

You could practically hear the tears in Bertholdt’s voice...and feel the swarm of titans closing in. 

“Get away from there you guys! Erwin...he brought all the titans here!” Hannes shouted.

Looking up you could see the army coming straight for the shifter, with a hoard of titans following close behind, still grabbing an occasional soldier who was too slow. Just as the titans neared Reiner, Erwin ordered everyone to scatter, and you gave your titan one last order, to keep Reiner there, before jumping away. 

You managed to land on your feet, though you stumbled slightly. You started to turn when suddenly an arm wrapped around your waist ripping a scream from you as your broken ribs protested. When you caught your breath, you found your right shoulder leaning into Erwin’s chest as he circled around to face the titans again. 

“Is this hell?” Jean appeared to be in shock as the titans began trying to rip Reiner apart.

“No, this is the beginning! All units, charge! The fate of mankind’s existence will be decided by this moment! Without Eren, the future where mankind can inhabit this Earth will never come! We’ll take Eren back and return at once! Put your hearts to the task!”

You could see Mikasa, Armin, and Jean turned to follow, determination burning in their eyes as the Military Police stopped in bewildered horror at those who followed the command.

Reiner dropped his hands as he began forcing his way through the throng. Before Erwin could even think about shouting the command, you saw the titan already falling into place to rip him from the saddle, with you in tow unless you did something.

“Erwin...I’m sorry. But really, this is for your own good. Trust me, ok?” 

The blonde looked at you in confusion before you shoved him from the saddle. You were watching Erwin as he stood up and grabbed the reins of another horse from a soldier that stopped beside him. Hoping this would work in your favor, you turned back to stare ahead as the titan opened its mouth. You heard Erwin call out to you, but you just closed your eyes as the jaws closed around you, vision going black as the pain blissfully faded to nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and kudos are always appreciated!!  
> What do you think is going on with Reader??


	9. Control and Betrayal

The titan’s teeth slammed shut, locking you in slimy darkness as it began to swallow. You could just make out the thunder of titan footsteps as you began to slide further into the titan’s mouth. The pain redoubled as you forced your mind to focus on the titan trying to eat you whole, forcing the beast to freeze, its tongue pushing you flush against the roof of its mouth.

A moment later, its teeth slowly opened, a hand reaching in to grab you. It sat there a minute, watching you as if in confusion before suddenly the pain reached new heights. Vision swimming in and out of focus you realized the damn titan was about to swallow you again when a soldier suddenly sliced through the fingers of the monster, one arm wrapping around your ribs in agony. Another soldier made quick work of the nape as your savior reached the ground.

The soldier released you to continue fighting the titans that had gathered, leaving you to struggle remaining upright. The black edging into your vision slowed, but you knew it was only a matter of time before you passed out. _Note to self...next time I decide to control the titans, make sure there aren’t nearly this many._

You stood still, trying to regain your vision in the hope that you could help with what was to come soon. The sudden presence of a hand on your shoulder caused you to swing around--which decidedly did not help with the vision as the world seemed to continue spinning even after you knew your body had stopped. Recognizing the blonde man from Ehrmich, you sighed before pinning him with a glare. 

He smiled sheepishly, “sorry, Captain. Wanted to make sure you were okay. Raiden would feed me to the titans if I let you get hurt out here.”

You thought about the broken bones, “a little late for that.”

The man had the grace to grimace at that, but he didn’t comment on it, “are we heading back? Or staying to help?”

His eyes told me which one he thought I would pick, a hint of bloodthirsty longing taking hold of amber eyes as they watched the titans. Those same eyes widened when you simply turn to face the titans and slowly step towards them. Determination filling your mind, anger fueling your march forward.

You unhooked your 3DMG as you walked towards the monsters gathered around the soldiers, your mind focusing once again on the feeling of the creatures surrounding you. Many slowed as you approached, though there were too many of them for any to stop moving completely. You heard Mikasa scream somewhere ahead of you, followed by Jean’s angry yell to release her.

Soldiers yelled out for you to stop, to turn back and wait for them to retrieve Eren. You ignored them all though, continuing your slow walk forward, pulling each titan under your influence. The pain of the injuries increased with each titan, but you didn’t stop, didn’t slow. Relentlessly marching towards Eren, you clenched your teeth and fists to force your body to obey as your limbs slowly went numb again. 

The world was shades of gray by the time you finally stopped, the titans still killing soldiers as they awaited another command. With a deep breath, you closed your eyes, feeling yourself stumble slightly with the loss of direction. Around you, thirty titans suddenly froze, heads turning in your direction as the Survey Corps looked on in surprise and confusion. 

The world seemed to go silent as you waited for the command you knew had to come any second. Then, you heard it...the telltale sound of a sword slicing through cloth and flesh. 

“All units, pull back!”

As the last word fell from Erwin’s lips, (e/c) eyes snapped open, locking on Reiner’s titan form. The thirty titans under your command turned towards the traitors and began to latch onto the armored titan. Their teeth sunk into Reiner’s second body, pulling and tearing into the titan flesh. The movement drew others to follow them towards Reiner, leaving almost none to pursue Erwin and the others.

Smiling, you clenched your teeth as Erwin raced straight towards you. His right arm wrapped around you, pulling you atop the horse once more, the numbness making the pain in your ribs feel distant. Your grin remained as you looked at the commander, “that arm would be gone now, if I hadn’t--”

“--done something stupid?” Erwin looked trapped between anger and confusion. “You could have been killed doing that. Why?”

Turning away you spoke with a quiet anger, “because it’s not your time yet...I risked my life to keep you whole, to keep you safe, so just accept it. I’m a gambler, just as much as you are. I bet that my plan would work...and it did. You would have done the same.”

Erwin was quiet long enough to believe he wasn’t going to respond, then he sighed heavily, “just promise that you won’t do it again. We can’t risk losing you any more than we can risk losing Eren.”

You chuckled, “it’ll take more than some dumb titan to get rid of me, Erwin. I promise.”

A shadow passed overhead before the man could even blink, the titan crashing to the ground a meter ahead of the horse. Erwin jerked the reins to the left, his horse just barely avoiding the tangled limbs of the titan. 

“Eren!”

You turned in time to see Mikasa lean over her brother as the smiling titan reached out for them. Hannes was there a moment later, slicing through the fingers that tried to close around him. Your muscles screamed to move, to intervene, but your mind knew you couldn’t. Erwin began to turn the horse towards the titan, but you reached out and pulled the reins back, stopping the horse in its tracks.

“He has to do it,” Erwin looked down at you in confusion, “Eren has to find that part of himself...I sensed it in him earlier.”

“What are you talking about?”

You twisted in the saddle to face Erwin, “there’s something different about Eren. When I was controlling the titans earlier, I could feel each of them. Every single one felt different, and when I focused on the shifters, I noticed it. Eren felt...apart from them. Like he was too similar to me for my control to work.” 

A small part of your mind argued that your answer made no sense, that no one would believe it...but Erwin had apparently decided to trust you as he nodded and made no move to question you or interfere with Eren’s awakening.

Instead the blonde turned back to the titans that Reiner had thrown, ordering the men to deal with them before they regained their footing. As the commander moved forward to lead the soldiers, you slid off the saddle, Erwin not even glancing at you, trusting that you knew what you were doing. 

_Thanks, Erwin...I’m not really sure what I’m doing right now...but I’m glad I’ve got your trust...I’ll be needing it later._

It was only as you started running in Jean’s direction that you noticed the world was still gray, but no longer tilting. Your body still aches, but no longer felt like you were about to pass out. The titan that had carried you earlier landed nearby, crashing through a tree, the trunk splintering beneath it. As it began to stand, its eyes fell on you causing it to paused on one knee as it pushed itself up. Its eyes darted to the side, looking at Reiner’s approach, before snapping to something in the air. 

For a moment, you thought it was watching a soldier, but it stood quickly--quicker than you’ve ever seen a titan move--and suddenly it was heading for you. In three long strides it was reaching out for you, just as you noticed a shadow moving over you. Looking up, your lips parted in surprise at the 15m titan flying through the air, heading straight for you. Before you could even think to move, though, a titan’s hand filled your vision. 

The fingers gently closed around you, pressing your back into the giant palm as it pulled you out of harm’s way. The creature parted its fingers, allowing you to watch as it raised you to its shoulder, as if inviting you to continue using it as a steed like before. A laugh bubbled up through your chest with a slightly manic edge to it as you faced the titans, watching one move towards Jean and Armin under a tree and the others looking for soldiers nearby to eat, one even crawling towards Mikasa and Eren. 

The laughter died slowly as your eyes landed on Reiner as he continued running towards the army, then darted between the beasts. Many of the soldiers had fallen, though you noticed far more alive than there would have been. Erwin knelt amid a small cluster of titans, holding his shoulder as his eyes met yours. You nodded at him, then looked at the titan you stood on. 

For some reason, the pain faded away as you focused on the creature beneath your boots. A strength beginning to seep into your muscles as your mind searched for Eren. _Maybe, just maybe..._

You locked onto Eren just as he swung his fist at the smiling titan. You felt the jolt of power surge outward as the Founding titan’s ability manifested. Using that power to your advantage, you added your own influence, calling the titans to follow his command. The titan that had been crawling for Eren, suddenly roared as it jumped at the smiling titan. Every other titan in the area quickly turning to follow suit. 

As Eren carries Mikasa away from the carnage, he noticed Reiner coming close. “Don’t come here! You guys...shit...I’ll kill you!” 

Once again, you added your power to Eren’s as the titans turned to attack Reiner, this time though you added a command as well. _Ymir wouldn’t be coming with us anyway...might as well make her help us out too_ , you thought as you ordered her to also follow the command. 

The Jaw titan’s eyes glanced at you as she passed, dark orbs showing confusion and anger as Ymir and the other titans raced for Reiner’s titan form. They surrounded the traitor and began trying to tear him apart. 

You knew they would escape...and that the control over Ymir would only last a little longer before she turned on the titans to help them. Erwin ordered the retreat during the distraction and you ordered your titan to join the rest in slowing Reiner down.

As the titan slowly stepped forward to follow your command, one hand reached up to its shoulder, waiting for you to step onto it. As soon as you did, it lowered its arm until the back of its hand was just above the grass. Once you jumped off, it ran forward to bite into Reiner’s left arm. You cocked your head to the side thinking about the amount of explaining you would have to do later as Raiden’s man appeared at your side with a horse.

It was nightfall when you reached the top of the wall, the Garrison soldiers carrying torches as they transported everyone to the top with the lifts. You saw Mikasa lowered onto a stretcher to be carried to a doctor, but turned to seek out Erwin. 

You found him amid a small group of his men, blood pooling at his side from his right arm. _What the hell…._

You grabbed the commander’s shoulder, turning him to face you. Your eyes landed on the chunk of flesh missing from his forearm as the soldiers tried to slow the bleeding. You eyed him suspiciously, making the man chuckle.

“It’s nothing serious.”

“Nothing….nothing serious? I almost died so you wouldn’t lose an arm and you go and get yourself chewed on anyway! The hell Erwin!”

You noticed everyone staring at you, but you ignored them in favor of glaring at the raised eyebrows, amusement clear in those bright blue eyes. You watched him a moment longer, hoping that he would go back to that quiet, seriousness of his. When he didn’t, you growled and opted to storm away in annoyed silence. Your back turned to him, you missed the amusement growing in his eyes as he was reminded of Levi, but you did hear the laughter, causing you to let out another low growl.

 

**~~Timeskip: During the briefing with Erwin ~~**

 

You followed Hanji and Connie to Erwin’s room to discuss Hanji’s theory about the titans. You felt weak and your mind was fuzzy, as if you were walking in a permanent fog, unable to concentrate on anything. Your group stopped before the door, the brunette’s knock pulling your attention back to the present as Levi’s voice called for you to enter.

Hanji and Connie saluted, but you just walked over the window silently, ignoring Commander Pixis’ confused stare. You leaned against the wall behind Levi looking out the window, Hanji’s voice a white noise as your thoughts wandered aimlessly.

You only heard pieces of Hanji’s explanation, “Ragoko Village….titan outbreaks...exploded from the inside...inhabitants in Ragoko…”

Erwin’s voice pulled some of your attention for a moment, “In other words, these titans were humans.”

You could practically feel the shock from the Garrison soldier at Pixis’ side as Hanji continued, “There is no proof showing that all the titans are like this, but...their weakness being the nape...spine from the brain...regeneration is impossible...substance the titans are made of.”

You didn’t realize your mind had wandered again until Levi spoke, the closeness of his voice breaking through the fog, “The titans you capture always had that part when the nape of the neck was cut open...but you never noticed?”

Before Hanji could speak, you stepped away from the window, “the wound closes too fast to see it...she didn’t stand a chance at discovering that.”

Hanji nodded as Levi glanced at you, “It means the flesh I was frantically cutting was a part of humans...then I’ve only been killing people right and left until now?”

You looked at Levi, noticing the disgusted grimace on his face, knowing that he was doubting his actions up until this point. You placed a hand on his shoulder in silent camaraderie, but was only answered with a particularly vicious glare. 

Pixis spoke slowly, as if fitting the pieces together as he spoke, “If this is true...then this means...what is different from Eren and your ordinary titan is that...they don’t fully assimilate a body of flesh.”

You and Levi both looked at Erwin at the same time, you knowingly and Levi in confusion, “...Erwin…Erwin…” the raven watched the smile creep onto the blonde’s face, his eyes widening in shock, “hey...what….are you smiling about?”

Erwin seemed to suddenly remember where he was as he glanced at Levi, the smile dropping from his face, “ah...it’s nothing.” You smiled when you head the mumble of ‘you creep’ from the raven-haired man at your side before Erwin continued, “I was often told this as a child.”

Sighing, you stepped forward, setting one hand lightly on the blanket covering Erwin’s shin. Blue eyes met (e/c) as they filled with a suspicious knowing. 

“You knew about this...didn’t you (f/n)?”

You looked at the commander sadly, “I...yes,” Hanji and Levi both tensed, but you continued before they could say anything, “I knew they were human. And I knew about Reiner and Bertholdt...even Ymir.”

_How do I explain without losing their trust? I have to think of something._ Your mind raced for the words that would stop the growing distrust you saw building in those blue eyes, a look you knew would be just as bad if not worse in the eyes of the ones behind you.

“I honestly don’t know how to explain this to you, since I don’t remember all of the details myself. But I do know someone that can explain it, that can answer whatever you want to know. Do you remember the man you met in the capital before Annie transformed? The MP, Gregori, that said Zackly wanted you to take authority? His actual name is Raiden. He was once a soldier in the Survey Corps, but was recruited by a group called the Society. They want to help you...they know what you’re planning on doing, and they....no...we want to help you. I was ordered to assist you and the Survey Corps, to keep as many as possible alive. I’ve been doing that...I’ve helped you in any way I could. I--”

“Tch...like we’d believe any of that.” Levi’s cold voice shattered any hope you had at keeping even the smallest sliver of trust.

“Levi’s right, (f/n). If you knew about the titans you should have told us. If you were working for some group..how can we know that you aren’t on the same side as those cadets.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I couldn’t suppress the chuckle, “Have you forgotten everything I’ve done to help up until now? Do you not remember me helping in Trost? How I risked my life to fight by the Cadets and the Garrison while Eren lifted that boulder? Did you not see the titans eating Reiner? Who do you think did that? Eren’s ability only woke up at the end...when he was faced with the smiling titan that killed his mother. Before that though...every time a titan ignored your men to attack the armored titan was by my order.”

“We remember what you’ve done, (f/n). But that was a decoy for all we know,” your chest constricted at Erwin’s words. _I’ve lost them, haven’t I?_

Your hand drug across the cloth to fall limp at your side as you stepped away from the bed. You looked from Erwin to Levi to Hanji, each one looking back with mistrust clear in their eyes. Your eyes fell to the ground as your mind suddenly felt empty, unable to think of anything you could possibly say to convince them that you weren’t the bad guy here. 

When nothing came to mind, you closed your eyes in defeat. Nodding slowly, you could do the only thing left to you...walk away. 

You opened your eyes and walked towards the door. You stopped in the doorway to speak over your shoulder, “I really am here to help you, Commander Smith. When you decide you want answers you can find me in Sina. I hope you’ll make the right choice.”

You opened the door and without waiting for a response, simply stepped out and walked down the hallway. A small part of you wanted to cry at making them feel even further betrayed, but the larger part said that you knew it was coming and that eventually they would realize you were protecting them. 

You stepped out into the sunlight to find Raiden waiting for you, “You look like someone just killed your puppy.”

Your lips twitched despite wanting to kick him for not giving you a way out of this mess, but you knew it wasn’t really his fault. It was your fault for not being careful enough.

“Let’s get a drink Raiden...I need to think of way to make them trust me again. Because it’s either I win them back...or most of them die in what’s to come.”

Raiden just smiled mischievously as he waved you to follow him to his house in Sina. He spoke a few minutes later, “I was expecting this a while ago. How you managed to keep suspicion away for so long doing what you were is beyond me. Guess they chose well.”

His words were no comfort, but they did remind you of something, “Hey Raiden, I need you to explain something to me.”

“Sure thing...ask whatever you want.”

“Tell me everything you know about the Society.” You saw him tense ahead of you, but ignored it “I need to know who they are, why they order us to help Erwin, why I’m part of this...everything.”

Raiden hesitated as he walked up the stairs to a small building tucked away into a dark corner of the street, “It’s not a good story...not one I particularly care to tell either. But, if it’s important to you, then sobeit. Let’s fill you in on the great Society, on my wretched past, our ill-fated meeting...and our role in this twisted little game of theirs.”

A shiver ran down your spine as Raiden spoke, his voice growing more frigid with every word, until finally, you seriously regretted asking. _I need to know...it’s the only way to make them listen. To make them follow me...to save them before it’s too late. There’s too much death to come...too much pain. And I refuse to let it happen._

That small, annoying, useless part of your brain was telling you to let it go, to forget about them, to walk away while you could, but you were never good at listening to it. So instead, you stepped into Raiden’s home and waited for him to tell a story that would change everything you knew, and everything you thought you could accomplish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...gonna be honest, this chapter is a bit different than intended and I'm actually not entirely sure how I feel about it. I think it's also brought some interesting changes to my plot line though, so I think it'll work out for the best!


	10. Discoveries and Gambling

Raiden’s home was small, dirty, and messy, as if he was rarely even inside the cramped walls. He set a cup in front of you as you leaned forward onto the table. You could smell the wine as he turned, a slight grimace forming as you sipped, trying to ignore the bitter burning in your throat. 

“Who are they?”

Raiden smirked as he swallowed a mouthful of wine, “The Society is a bunch of idiots who think they can control the world. Their leader passes along orders to the men scattered about the Walls when needed, very few of us know who is in the Society and who’s just being used as spies and pawns. Us, though...we’re the important ones. Given orders like everyone else, but also allowed to act as we see fit. Very, very few of us are given that chance. I don’t even know how they decide who to trust enough for that.”

“So...we’re like Squad captains or something?”

Raiden thought a moment before nodding, “Something like that. Point is, we’re trusted. We have men under our command and men we’re supposed to protect. Your men, obviously, are the Scout Regiment soldiers...as many of them as you can protect. We’ll need them later, if I know the leaders. They’re no friend of Marley, I know that much.”

The name caught you off guard for a moment, surprised again that someone else in this world was like you. You bowed your head focusing on the wine as you slowly swirled it in the cup, _It has to be one of these leaders...maybe they know how I got here and why..._

You felt the man staring at you and looked up to find Raiden raising an eyebrow, “You don’t remember anything about when you showed up here, do you?”

“No. I was living my normal life and suddenly woke up in an alley in the middle of Trost.”

Raiden was shaking his head before you finished speaking, “You were here for two years before going to Trost.” He raised a hand as your mouth dropped open, “I was sent to bring you to them. In 848, they already knew you were here. Said you were an ideal specimen. Their words, not mine.”

“Specimen? As in, experiment?”

“Yeah...experimenting is their specialty. If it makes you feel any better, I was the same. Except I was there eight years before you came here, spent three years under their scientists’ care.”

“Shit...why don’t I remember that? How did I forget two years of my life?”

“The serums they used on you...they caused amnesia fairly regularly. I used to visit you, and more often than not, I had to introduce myself for the first time every visit.”

_Two years…what did they do to me?_

 

 

**~~Timeskip: Trost~~**

You and Raiden had some time to bond over the last four days. You spent the days following him around Mitras, occasionally helping out with various tasks the Society had given him. Sometimes he appreciated the help...more often than not he grumbled under his breath about you getting in the way. 

However, the time in the capital had one distinct advantage. Despite the short amount of time spent with them, the people within Wall Sina had come to know you, recognize you, and many even came to enjoy your company. Some even sought you out, to ask for help, to give you gifts for helping, to complain about whatever news was circulating in the capital. 

Today was no different, you had realized that you could still help the Scout Regiment even without them knowing. So you had begun, much to Raiden’s dismay, supporting the people living in the Underground. You would pay the fees for the children and some of the stronger men to enter the city proper. Some days you would even bring large crates of food to them, with Raiden and a few of his men nearby to keep order and dissuade thieves from acting up. 

The Regiment would need more support to minimize the damage done when they make their move, and you knew it was coming soon. So, you worked in small ways to get the people’s support. Because if your history classes taught you nothing else, you did know that coups always went easier if the masses were on the rebel’s side as well.

The people in Trost had been your first project after leaving Erwin and they had proven an easy lot to win over. So, after three days in Mitras, you decided to check on things in Trost where you had left a few of Raiden’s men in charge of ensuring the citizens’ well-being. Walking along the main road when you noticed a crowd gathering. You joined the throng a minute later, and stopped halfway through when you heard the voices.

“...city along the wall, nobody comes around anymore. If we can’t make any money, we can’t eat. The Garrison went off somewhere, and robbers came in their place. And despite all that, taxes are high as ever. What should we do? Why did this happen? Why did the titans attack again and again? I know why. It’s because you guys in the Scout Regiment aren’t working hard enough.”

Before the citizens could continue complaining to Levi and his new squad, you pushed through the people in front of you. Stopping just to Mikasa’s left, you put a hand on the man’s shoulder as he opened his mouth to speak. 

“Enough. You know as well as I do, it’s not their fault. And don’t even think about telling them to leave their money,” you said eyeing the bearded man who first spoke. 

His eyes widened a moment as he looked at you, “The scouts have taken far more than they deserve.”

You stepped forward, eyes narrowing into a glare that had the man stepping back as he finally recognized you. “One more word and I’ll make sure to stop bringing food for you and your family. And the same goes to the rest of you,” you added, voice raising to make sure they all heard you clearly. 

The cadets looked at you in surprise as the crowd quieted slightly. Levi stared blankly, though you thought you could see a hint of the same surprise in those cold eyes. 

You could hear the wagon approaching and knew you would have to let it take the two cadets. You and Levi turned at the same time and pushed the people nearest you out of the way.

As the wagon rushed passed, Sasha’s voice yelled, “Ar...er...Christa and Eren got captured again!”

As the kidnappers disappeared behind the cloud of dust, you turned to see Levi and the cadets already disappeared as well. Sighing you headed to the warehouse you knew they were gathering at. _Levi didn’t seem happy to see me...too soon maybe? But I can’t stay in the shadows much longer...I need to make sure I’m there._

When you arrived, Connie was the only one on the roof, the others inside already. Looking around, you noticed Dimo and the two other men weren’t nearby, so they had to be inside too. A few minutes later, as you leaned against a house’s wall, you heard the faint sound of Sasha’s voice again, “It’s Mikasa’s fault for taking her eyes away from the prey!”

Connie glanced around speaking quietly to himself when he spotted you standing nearby. He made no move to call out to you or join you, but you had a feeling it based purely on fear of Levi’s wrath if he found out Connie had left his post. 

Deciding not to wait, you pushed off from the wall and headed towards the sealed gate in Trost. You stood nearby, but out of the way of the soldiers who were busy sealing in the boulder with a wooden reinforcement. Eventually, you saw Levi and Dimo walk along the wall to stop above the former gate. 

Reiss sat while Levi stood beside him, and you could knew the words exchanged even without hearing them. Soon after, Levi sat down as well where they continued discussing the fate of the Reeves Company. Several minutes later, Levi and Dimo shook hands and you decided it was time to show them why they need you.

Back at Raiden’s house that evening, you wrote a letter to Erwin:

> Commander, 
> 
> I know you don’t particularly like me at the moment. However, I also know you...and I trust that you will take me up on this offer. A handful of the soldiers under your command, the cadet Marco, as well as the soldiers Eld, Petra, Mike, and Nanaba should have died. And I don’t say this as the oddity of their survival in their respective scenarios. I say this quite literally. They would be dead now, if I had not ensured their survival. 
> 
> Despite what you may think, I can help you replace the King. I know about Historia, I know about the royal family, a truth you will come to know sometime tomorrow once Hanji and Levi discover it from Sannes. 
> 
> There is trouble coming, Erwin. Chaos is calling and nothing can stop it. But I can minimize its damage.So here’s the gamble I trust you to make. Let me help you with your plans. I will ensure it goes much easier for the Scout Regiment. The titans are vastly different than you think...it’s not just that they were human. Someone is making them turn. And I know who they are.   
> Remember what all I have done for you so far and let me prove myself to you again. 
> 
> (f/n) (l/n)

Sealing the letter, you opened the door to the house to find a man with shoulder length black hair waiting on the steps, “Jax, take this to the Scout Regiment Commander Erwin Smith in Trost. Hand it to him personally, and insist he reads it.”

Jax took the letter with a nod before running to deliver the letter, _I hope you’ll listen, Erwin. You need me...you just don’t know it yet. And if you try doing this without me...you and a whole lot of soldiers will die._


	11. Trust and Deception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slightly shorter chapter than I've been posting lately...but I'm having to work through some complex plot issues (and work is currently trying to bury me under paperwork)

The next morning you sat at the small table anxiously awaiting Erwin’s reply. Raiden had left a few hours ago, and you were beginning to think Erwin was uninterested in your help...refusing your gamble afterall.

The knock on the door made you jump slightly as it was quickly pushed open to reveal Jax panting heavily. 

“Commander Erwin...has accepted your gamble. He’s asked you to meet with Levi Ackerman and Hanji Zoe to discuss how you will act in their name.”

“In their name?” you chuckled, “One of the Regiment’s soldiers? How...interesting.”

After changing into black pants and shirt, you turned to see Raiden walking into the room. He stopped in front of you with a smirk, simply holding out his hands and the bundle he carried. Taking them, you were unsurprised to see the dark chocolate leather of maneuver gear...until you realized it wasn’t the 3DMG of the Regiment...or at least not the ones they currently used. 

“Where did you get anti-personnel gear?”

Raiden just turned and tossed over his shoulder as he walked back out, “from a friend.”

Knowing you would not face combat in the next few hours, you chose to only wear the straps, and carry the rest of the gear with you for later. Walking out of the house, you realized Raiden was once again gone, though he did leave a horse for you just outside. 

 

**~~Timeskip: Arriving at the Hideout~~**

 

You somehow managed to walk into the room without being noticed, a feat you thought would have been impossible considering seven people were facing you when you opened the door. Then you heard Levi’s words…

“...royal family is the Reiss family.”

Looking at Christa, you saw her eyes go comically wide as everyone turned to face her in shock that rivaled her own. 

You watched Armin raise his hand like a schoolboy, “We heard something about allowing Historia to ascend the throne as queen, but...is that the main objective of this mission?”

 

“Exactly,” Levi’s face revealed little other than tiredness, “Historia, your thoughts.”

 

“Ah...I...It’s impossible. I can’t.”

“Right? Being told all of a sudden to become the most authoritative figure amongst the people of this world. After all, there aren’t very many people who would possibly answer right away with ‘yes, that’s fine’. But...” Levi’s voice grew colder as he spoke,”none of that is important. Do it.”

“I couldn’t possibly...do it.”

“You don’t want to?” Levi stepped forward as she mumbled refusal again. “Understood,” he growled, lifting her off her feet by the collar of her shirt, “then run away.”

Before things got more out of hand, you dropped the bundle with the maneuver gear’s gas and reel mechanism in it. As it crashed to the stone floor, everyone in the room startled, turning to face you.

“Historia…” you put your hand on Levi’s arm, forcing him to lower the girl, though part of you knew that he let you do it simply out of surprise, “I know you’re uncertain. But they….we need you to do this. We wouldn’t ask you if there was another choice. No one here can force you,” you glanced at Levi as you spoke, “but they can keep you captive again like when you were younger.”

She looked up in surprise as you mentioned her youth, knowing that she had only told Eren about her childhood and you shouldn’t have any clue about it. The cadets still circled her as she regained her breath, eyes still watching you oddly. 

Levi turned cold eyes to you for a moment, then stared at the teenagers, “What do you guys think you’re doing tomorrow? Eating your meals? Sleeping enough again? Is that what you’re thinking? That the person next to you will still be there? I don’t think that. I’m not normal, I’m an aberrant person because I’ve seen too many abnormal things. But if tomorrow Wall Rose were broken...in such abnormal circumstances, I can respond faster that anyone and fight.”

“You’re right. If titans were to attack Sina, you would be one of the few that could get their shit together fast enough to do something about it. But...despite what you think...you’re not the only one who is fine playing the role of the aberrant,” you smirked slightly as his eyes narrowed, both knowing that his train of thought was leading to those very words.

Ignoring you, Levi stared down at Historia, “If we held true authority in this world...then perhaps those who would have died can live instead. That’s pretty good, right? It’s all up to you, Historia. Will you follow? Will you fight? They’re both fine, so pick one. However,” dropping into a crouch, he grabbed her head and yelled, “There is no time, so decide now!”

The girl barely thought about it as she answered, “I’ll do it! My...my next role is to be queen, right? I’ll do it. Please leave it to me.”

The room looked to you, waiting on some explanation for your presence. You just waved at Nifa though, “Erwin’s orders?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed again at the name, but he nodded at Nifa. The girl nervously continued, “the plan begins today, when Eren and Historia are to be handed over from the Reeves Corporation to the First Military Police Brigade. They have left everything from the route to the rest stops up to the Reeves Corporation. We will take advantage of that. We will thus hand Eren and Historia over to the Military Police. Then through Reeves, we will track them to their final destination…”

“...Rod Reiss, Historia’s biological father and the actual highest authority within these walls,” Nifa went wide-eyed as you finished the report on her behalf...despite being on the other side of the room and obviously unable to read the report.

Armin finally looked at you, noticing the gear, “(f/n)....what is that?”

Smirking, you turned to the blonde, “a small gift from a friend,” you said, mimicking Raiden’s words from earlier. Part of you wondered who the friend was, but you were mostly just happy to have the gear. Despite not having memories of ever seeing it before (except the memories of your other, previous life), the gear felt right as if you had been long trained in its use.

The raven-haired captain stared suspiciously, “Why are you even here?”

“Ah...right,” you knelt down and dug through the bundle you had dropped upon arrival. Pulling the letter from the bottom, you held it out to Levi, “Made a deal with Erwin to help you and the Regiment not get everyone killed. He decided to put a little trust in my word..so I certainly hope you will too. We have a lot to do soon...and it will go much better with mutual understanding.”

“Understanding? You saved us countless times...what else is there to understand?” You looked at Jean as he spoke, a smile curving your lips by the time he finished.

“Indeed.” You looked over at Mike, Petra, and Marco were they stood along the wall...all three aware that they were about to die and that you or your men had save them. “Some of you wouldn’t be here now without me. At least someone seems to remember,” you cast over your shoulder at Levi icily. 

“Tch. Maybe you should have told us who you really were.”

The cadets tensed, uncertainty creeping into their eyes. Mike, however, stepped forward and leaned into you, inhaling deeply, “I’ll admit she has an odd smell...but not one of mistrust. You know what she did for Petra. We can trust her.”

“Tch.”

“Aww...and here I wasn’t certain you liked me. Nice to know someone still has faith.”

Mike smirked slightly as Petra joined your side, eyeing Levi tellingly. The other cadets seemed to take their action as proof that they can indeed still trust me as they all relaxed. _Now to just get Levi back on my side...that’ll be easy…_ You internally rolled your eyes, wanting to kick yourself for your own needlessly sassy thoughts.

_But...what do I do when the MP come? Kenny will be there...and they’ll find the blades. Can’t change that...so what should I do instead?_

As you were lost in thought, you didn’t notice everyone had filed out of the room. When you snapped back to reality, you walked outside and immediately noticed the carriage sitting there. Ducking out of sight, you were just in time to see Kenny and Reeves talking along the forest edge. 

Kenny slowly walked behind Reeves as he spoke. You watched is lips, picking out the words “Levi”, “runt” and “pride” before Kenny suddenly lashed out with a blade, cleaning slicing the gleaming metal across Reeve’s throat as he other hand covered the merchant’s mouth.

As Reeves’ body hit the ground, Kenny’s underling walked up behind him. They spoke a moment, as two men carried Eren and Historia away over their shoulders. 

Deciding now was as good a chance as any, you regretted losing focus earlier and not telling Levi and the others what you were about to do. You had convinced Erwin to let you act freely...but you didn’t tell him exactly what you had in mind. And now...you just hoped the three who stood by you didn’t come to regret their decision in the next few minutes.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped out into the sun and walked towards Kenny Ackerman, knowing full well that you were, in all likelihood, about to get a knife to your throat as well. The man in question faced you suspiciously as you neared him, his eyes running over your gear in confusion. 

“The hell are you? And why do you have my gear?”

“Is that a literal question or figural?”

“Huh? You sure as hell aren’t one of my men...so why do you have my gear?”

“Ah...so figural then. Part of me was hoping this was literally your gear...would have been funny knowing he stole from you.”

Kenny obviously didn’t find your comment amusing as his fist tightened on the blade. And neither did the woman behind him as she raised her arm, revealing a knife of her own.

“Calm down. I came to help you with something. Figured you wouldn’t mind extra information on what these dumbasses in the Regiment were up to.”

The corners of Kenny’s lips twitched, “And what makes you think I’ll believe anything you say? Think I’ll just stupidly buy into the story they told you pass along?”

“Course not. I’m currently on bad terms with them anyway...help them a few times out of kindness and suddenly they decide you have nothing else to offer.” You sighed as if defeated, “Oh well...figured you and the Anti-Personnel squad might be more fun. Titans are kind of boring...and I prefer a challenge. Willing to listen to woman scorned on the battlefield?”

Silence filled the forest before Kenny suddenly started laughing. He grinned a moment later, “Scorned on the battlefield? What the hell did they do?”

“Saved Commander Eyebrows by getting eaten by a titan...only for him to toss me aside like broken blade. So I asked a friend if he knew anyone better suited to my...particular skill set. Next thing I knew, he brought me this,” you gestured to the gear, “and told me to listen in on the Regiment’s men for a while before waiting here for the MP squad transport to arrive.”

Kenny smiled, an oddly unsettling feeling worming its way up your spine as he did so, “Can’t speak for long term...but I’m intrigued enough to listen for a while. Prove to have anything interesting and maybe I’ll let you in on the fun.”

“Perfect. If you’re out to ruin Erwin and the Regiment...well...I’m willing to help with all of your goals.”

The sudden glint in Kenny’s eyes said he understood the deeper meaning behind the words...you would not be helping the MP squad...you were agreeing to help him. And you didn’t care what goal he really went after, so long as it involved you and betraying Erwin. 

As you followed Kenny to the wagon, you noticed Levi and Mike in the distance. You nodded slightly in their direction, trusting one of them at least to understand what you were doing...what you were risking...and that once again, you were putting your life on the line for them.

_Let’s have some fun Kenny...and see if I can convince you to follow me instead._


	12. Gunfire and Risks

Once back in the city, Kenny ordered his men to watch the street when Erwin was brought out to see Reeve’s body. He kept you near him while determining if you were trustworthy or not, but it didn’t take much acting for him to start believing you were truly pissed at the Regiment’s commander. This was one of the few times that you wholeheartedly thanked cosplaying in your previous life; the ability to switch characters was dizzying at times, but it did provide fantastic results in this new life.

Two days after Erwin was taken by the Military Police, you were walking the streets of Stohess. The people were outraged by the Regiment’s perceived deception, everyone easily turning on the people that fought for them with no regard to their own danger.

As you were walking around, you noticed the figure in a hat and cloak heading towards an alley. Heading over to join the cadet, you smiled when Jean, Armin, and Connie came into view.

“I thought my life would be ended by a titan. Never thought I would become a widely loathed fugitive instead.”

“That’s still not...for certain.”

“Even if everything seems successful so far...I still don’t want to kills humans. Even if the captain orders me to...I wouldn’t be able to do it.”

Connie turned to look over his shoulder at the two blondes, “Same here. Captain Levi is probably going to use physical force to get anyone--”

“Levi doesn’t force anyone. True, he may get a little rough to convince someone or make them realize their own desires, but he would never force a person to do anything they didn’t want.”

The cadets looked at you in shock. Jean, however, didn’t seem entirely welcoming. Ignoring them, you glanced at the other end of the alley before crouching down in front of Armin.

“He told you, right? About me? About Kenny?”

Armin nodded, “Captain Levi informed us of your...connection...to some mysterious group. He also told us how he and Mike saw you join the people who really killed Reeves.”

Nodding at the blonde, you looked to the ground, knowing you had probably lost the cadets’ trust as well now.

“Why?” Mikasa’s voice made you glance over Armin’s shoulder, “You had a reason, what was it?”

“You say that like I really did betray you,” Mikasa looked away, so you stood, “Tell me something, Mikasa. Do you think I’m the same as Bertholdt and Reiner? The same as Annie? A traitor hidden away within your ranks just waiting for a chance to strike?”

No one spoke for a moment, until Armin stood, one hand clenching into a fist, “No...you wouldn’t do that. Not after Trost. Laying in wait...it’s to strike the enemy. Our enemy, right?”

You smiled, “Enemies...but yes. I’m with the Anti-Personnel squad of the Military Police. They specialize in taking out human enemies, Armin. They’re dangerous...and they’re going after Levi. I’ll explain everything as soon as I can...but for now, please...trust me. I will always help the Survey Corps. Whatever you do, don’t forget that.”

Turning away, you walked down the alley, intending to find Levi and help him against Kenny...while somehow also seeming to help Kenny. _This will be...interesting…_

As you reached the main street, you paused to speak over your shoulder, “I doubt I’ll be able to leave them just yet...but I’ll send someone to you with answers. He’ll help you.”

 

A few minutes later, you stood in the shadows of another alley scanning the rooftops for Levi and his squad. You knew Kenny’s men were watching them as well, so you made sure to blend in in case any of them noticed you. Most still had doubts about your loyalty of course, but they recognized you as one of Kenny’s newer recruits (and one he insisted was to be trusted). 

Finally spotting the bell tower, you followed the roof line _Levi and Nifa…_ a second later you locked on the small shadows along the edge _...found you._

It bothered you that you couldn’t be on the roof with him to warn them about Kenny’s approach. Forced to watch in the shadowed alley, you jumped when the gunshots broke the tense silence. Eyes still focused on the two soldiers, you saw Nifa’s body fall backwards, knowing the shot hit the girl’s face. A moment later, more shots rang out as the rest of Levi’s team was executed. Kenny’s figure swung over the roof shortly after the shots quieted. Even without seeing Levi, you pictured his grimace as he faced his uncle again. Another gunshot filled the air, followed by the clang of metal (you smiled as you remembered how Levi threw his blade at Kenny).

Levi stormed down the roof as you watched him engage his 3DMG to escape the immediate fight. Knowing where he was heading, you turned away and raced down the streets, hoping to make it before the raven.

Slipping into the bar, you stood in a corner just as nearly a dozen gunshots were fired. You locked your eyes on the door waiting for Levi to appear. A split second later, he flew through the swinging doors and landed in a crouch on the bartop. Pushing off the wall, you went behind the bar and pulled him down. 

With a finger raised to your lips, you shook your head at the man as Kenny stepped into the bar. Pushing a small bundle at Levi, you motioned for him to tuck them away to look at later as Kenny’s voice came over the counter.

“Found you! The great Military Policeman has come to kill the evil villian! Bang! Bang!” Kenny laughed maniacally before cutting short, “What? He’s not here?”

“I’m here Kenny. It’s been a long time.” You watched Levi as he spoke.

“Oh..how nostalgic. Show me your face.”

“Stop fucking with me. You’ve been spraying bullets at my face this whole time.”

“Eh, well...I came to look at the color of your brains today.”

“I didn’t think you were still alive, Kenny. You, who massacred the MP are now an MP yourself? This really is the first time I’ve laughed at one of your jokes.”

“Brats can’t understand adult matters. Oh, my bad...you’re a runt, but you’ve gained some years, huh? I’ve been enjoying your activities. But to think that the strategies I taught you would be put to use like this…” reaching behind you as Kenny spoke, you grabbed the rifle and silently held it out to Levi, “But I wouldn’t have hid out in a bar like this. Didn’t I teach you the term “rat in a bag”? You know that however you try to escape from here, you’ll be shot down from above, right?”

Levi didn’t so much as flinch when the chair collided with the shelf in front of him, shattered bottles littering the floor with glass shards and liquor. As Kenny continued his monologue, a figure moved into view at the window across the bar, eyes locking with yours as you both nodded in understanding. 

“Levi...as soon as he’s clear, you head for that window, okay? We’ve cleared some of Kenny’s men for you, so get out of here.”

Reaching up, you turned one of the bottles around with a nod for Levi to use it as a mirror to aim the rifle. At the same time, you moved further down the bar and did the same with another bottle as you raised the gun of your anti-personnel gear. Nodding at Levi, you took aim while Kenny’s attention was focused on Levi. 

“...really gives life meaning are “hobbies”.”

“Hobbies, huh?” Levi nodded back as he moved the rifle into position beneath the bar to keep it hidden from his uncle’s view. “Blowing away the heads of my subordinates...is that your hobby?”

“Ah...I’ll kill as many as it takes for the sake of a bigger goal. You’re killing for your own sake too, aren’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” Levi nodded as he swung the gun onto the bar upside down. Both shots rang out in the same moment. 

They caught Kenny in the chest, the force sending him backwards, out of the bar. Levi wasted no time as he jumped onto the bar, tossing the rifle at the barkeep. You heard the shouts of alarm from Kenny’s men, fear of their leaders death clear in their voices. 

You followed Levi to the window where you shot the glass to clear it. Your man appeared outside a second later with a nod that the street was clear on that side. As soon as Levi was out, he went for the roof to take out the last few men there as you waved your man over. 

With a shake of the head, you trusted the man to understand what you were doing. To protect Levi and your position as a spy, you had to look like your fighting with Kenny’s men. Raising your sword to Jax, you dipped your head. Understanding flashed in his eyes as he dashed forward, raising his own blade. 

Steel clashed together, sending a wave of shock through your arms. He heard him muffle an apology before his right hand suddenly dropped his blade, the fist swinging up into your cheek with jarring impact. Tasting blood, you glared at the man when movement caught your eye...the woman who served as Kenny’s second-in-command. Jax kicked at your knee as his left hand pulled his blade away only to sweep it in a downward arc towards your thigh. Jumping backwards, you barely avoided the attack before Jax turned to escape. 

Moving to follow, Traute called out for you to follow her as she checked on Kenny. “Captain Ackerman...have you finally died?”

You knelt beside the man and pulled the hat off of his face to show him staring at the newly unveiled sky, “stupid bastard...how is a dead man going to reply?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle. Kenny glanced at you, eyes landing on the discoloration on the side of your face that felt like it would soon be a very attractive bruise. “Bars keep firearms for self-defense...should have seen that one coming,” you mumbled the last as if to yourself.

“It seems that little runt has grown. This won’t be easy.”

Traute looked down at him, “That’s great.”

“Not really,” both turned to face you, “I’ll admit, being easy is no fun...but it also makes things more difficult.”

“Exactly...what’s good about my dreams slipping further away.”

“Dreams? Dreams always come true...if you know the right people.” 

Kenny looked at you oddly at that, but he didn’t get a chance to say anything as a man approached. A very familiar man...with auburn hair.

“Kenny! Count on you to make a mess of things in the middle of the city.” Raiden laughed before stepping to your side and slamming a hand down on your shoulder, “How do you like her? Not bad, eh?”

Kenny looked between the two of you, “You’re the one that sent her to find me? That stole my gear?”

“You would have given her some anyway...I was just making things go smoother. Anyway….I need to borrow her for a while. (f/n) here has to help me with something for a few days.”

“Huh? Sent her to me and now you think you can take her back?”

“Of course,” Raiden smiled coldly as he stepped in front of Kenny, “Don’t forget who you work for...and who your boss works for. If you think about it...you actually work for me. And by extension…(f/n) here as well. We’re the same, you know?”

Kenny’s eyes widened slightly as he stood unmoving, Traute glaring at us before she turned a worried gaze upon her commander. 

Raiden turned away and grabbed your arm to swing you into step with him. “Come now...we have things to discuss. I have a new plan for dealing with the Regiment...and I think you’ll like it.”

 

Raiden’s plan as it turned out was to meet up the cadets and Levi and help them escape. Following the sound of gunfire, you caught up to the wagon just in time to see Jean get knocked down by the MP member as the rest of the team looked on in fear. _I won’t make it...I’m sorry Armin…_ You fired at one of the last remaining squad members pursuing the soldiers just as Armin turned and fired his own gun.

The bullet caught the woman in the temple as she hesitated. Landing beside Jean, you called out for Raiden to make sure no one was following them when Mikasa and Levi landed in the wagon behind you. 

Everyone stayed tense until clear of the city. Only once you were safely within the walls of a cabin hidden away among the forest did anyone begin to relax slightly. No one spoke of your or Raiden’s presence while they tended to wounds and gathered wood for a fire. 

Raiden leaned against the wall beside you, slowly spinning a knife hilt on his palm, fingers carefully gripping the blade, “We’re telling them.”

Looking over at him, you noticed he was staring at the blade as he fiddled with it. You hummed, but otherwise stayed silent.

“They don’t know...I figured this would be best for both of us to do our jobs.”

“You’re going against the Society?”

“Not actively...but...yes. I promised you once that I would do whatever I could to help you. They aren’t making it easy by insisting you do things to lose the Regiment’s trust. So I’ll take the blame for revealing them. We risk losing their support though, once they find out.”

A nervous silent fell as you both considered your options. Losing Society’s support meant working with the Regiment alone. And two people wouldn’t help them much...not without the resources and manpower Society had. If they cast you out as traitors, the Regiment was as good as guaranteed to face opposition from them as well. But if they decided to follow your lead, trust that this was the best option available to continue protecting the Regiment as ordered, then they get the best of both worlds.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed away from the wall and faced Raiden, “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Raiden smirked, “That’s my girl.” He reached one hand out and as you grabbed it with a nod, he turned to face the soldiers, “now...let’s see if we can mend this damaged relationship.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this is still going in a very different (and interesting) direction than originally intended. I blame Reader...who keeps insisting on doing things their way no matter what I say. *heavy sigh*
> 
> Oh well...hope you guys are still enjoying this ^^


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